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I walk into Meredith’s bookstore expecting another afternoon of cleaning, pricing and stocking instead I find Meredith and Tina sitting behind the counter. Neither notices me when I walk in. I have a moment to watch them. Meredith is older, her face more mature and her body more womanly. Tina is losing her baby fat, her face becoming that of a woman. She has matured in other ways, her clothes are nicer now, she has become adept with powders and paints and, simply put, she makes more effort to look like the princess everyone knows she is. She makes my heart beat faster by hardly trying. Tina and Meredith laugh about something. Tina’s cute little laugh, her scrunched up little nose, and the way she puts her hand up to her face each time are so familiar to me. I can tell by her laugh that she is slightly uncomfortable but Meredith doesn’t see it. Tina is my secret, my deciphered code. I love her completely.“Paula!” Tina shouts when she sees me.“Oh good, you are finally here!” Meredith seems thrilled. I find this odd. I’ve had sex with Meredith and Nick only once after the incident at her house and it didn’t turn out well. I think it was mostly me. I was nervous and felt insecure. I didn’t respond well to Meredith and this made her leave. Nick and I finished but I think this only pissed Meredith off more.“Hey guys!” I address both of them then turn to Tina, “What brings you to the shack of Satan?” I ask Tina.Tina looks to Meredith as if asking her to explain and when Meredith doesn’t immediately respond Tina begins playing with something on the counter. Meredith is a modern woman, a woman in charge, the tension between us doesn’t bother her. She wants something and she is going to get it.“Tina and I are going to run out for a bit, can you man the store?” Meredith asks.“What?” I have a moment of panic. I think of “Gone with the Wind” and my brain screams, “But I don’t know nuttin’ bout birthin’ no babies!” It’s just something that always pops into my head when I panic.“Meredith… I don’t know how to run the register… and… if someone has questions I don’t know…”“Paula,” Meredith pauses with a look of distaste, as if she is consoling an ignorant child, “You won’t need to run the register and you won’t be here long. Nick is coming over in a bit. I called him and asked him to run the store as soon as he can leave work.”“Ok…well…what are you guys gonna do?” I hear the pathetic childlike whimper in my own voice. I see Meredith’s smile flatten slightly, her lips tighten, obviously annoyed with me. I can’t help it. I feel left out. I feel…I feel betrayed by Tina.“Are you ready for the party tomorrow night?” Tina asks, always the positive and happy peacemaker.“Sure, I guess.” Actually I haven’t done anything. What do you do for a party? Fuck if I know.“Ok, great.” Meredith picks up her designer bag and keys. She puts her arm through Tina’s and they leave. Tina looks back over her shoulder for a minute. Her face seems to say, “Sorry, you know how it goes.” Yeah Tina, I do. I also know Meredith. I know what she will try to do with Tina. Even after the luxury car pulls out and drives away, I can’t even believe it just happened! I stand there like a statue for at least twenty minutes just staring at the doorway.“You have got to be kidding me!” My own voice breaks me out of the trance, makes me jump a little. I walk behind the counter refusing to do anything. I sit in Meredith’s chair and open a book. Fuck that bitch.The store is dead for another hour. Nick still hasn’t shown up. I eye the clock. A couple of overweight women enter the store. They smile as they past me, shooting me uncomfortable glances. They are probably surprised to see only me behind the counter. Fumbling through books and new age trinkets they build up the courage to ask me something. Finally one of them turns İstanbul Escort and looks at me. She studies me as if she is trying to figure out if I belong here.“Little girl?” She asks.“Yes Ma’am?” I reply in my best adult voice. I’m far from being a little girl but I’ve always looked about ten years younger. It’s a curse. I’m used to people thinking I’m twelve.“Do you know the woman who owns this place?” No lady, I broke in, decided to sit behind the counter and act like I work here. Instead I say, “Yeah, Meredith is my boss.”“Oh, I thought maybe you were her daughter.” She smiles in an obvious effort to bring humor to her mistake. “Can I help you with something?” I ask, trying to seem in charge.“Well…when will Meredith be back?” She asks.“I don’t know.”“Ok, well thank you young lady. You are doing a good job for such a little girl.” All sorts of things pop into my head but I know that I need this job so I don’t say anything. I smile and watch as the two women waddle to the door. Just another couple of overweight new age women in muumuus and too much jewelry, women just like them come in just about every day. Maybe there is a secret society of them I don’t know about?The chimes by the door ring. The two fat ladies huddle close together. They are jostled by a team of college kids walking through the door. I don’t know it yet but this is my life completely changing. The first one through is wearing a leather jacket and a white t-shirt under it. His or her hair is cut short, spiked and dyed bright pink. Holding his or her hand is a slightly shorter girl, she looks amazing. Her black shirt is skin tight and printed with faded gray and blue designs that look maybe like a band logo. I can’t tell, maybe the shirt isn’t a shirt at all but a dancer’s tank top, it’s certainly hugging her skin. She’s wearing a studded belt that hangs across her hips with a fat silver buckle hanging at an angle just above her crotch. Her jeans are super tight with a blue bandana tied around her leg. She is wearing leather shoes with thick soles and fat heels. Two silver studs poke out below her sexy bottom lip. My stare doesn’t go unnoticed by her boyfriend/girlfriend, ahhh, I’m leaning toward girlfriend because I see breasts and permanently erect nipples under the leather jacket. All five of them are covered in tats of one nature or another. In fact the pink-spiked-hair punk girl has full sleeves. I’m mesmerized and they know it. They love it.Then SHE walks in. SHE is black, African-American a voice says in the back of my mind. Her face is striking. Her features are almost masculine yet soft around the chin and the more I look the more she looks sweet and feminine. She has that power. Her full lips are painted a deep red that shimmers in the light as she enters. Her very presence in the room commands the attention of the others, making her seem taller in every way. Her light brown and black hair twists in tiny curls and braids that fall behind her head in a huge ponytail. Her shoulders are bare, leaving plenty of skin to dream about. Her skin actually seems to change in the light as she moves. Her top is a mix between a corset and a shirt, and presses up her breasts into fleshy cleavage that tantalizes as she walks. She wears capris that seem more painted on that real and they hug her perfectly round slender hips. Those hips flow right into long sleek legs accented with the six inch heels. I’ve never seen a woman more amazing in my life. The most amazing thing about her is that she is looking directly at me. Her eyes never move from me and I don’t seem to be able to take my eyes from her. I’ve heard about Voodoo. I’ve read that some priests can give the evil eye. Maybe you have to be black to do it because I’m telling you when she looked into my eyes I felt İstanbul Escort Bayan power. I thought I would die.She walks straight in my direction. I sit helpless behind the counter. My instincts scream flee but my body doesn’t move.“Hi.” She says. Her voice is a bit smokey and yet delicately feminine and cuts through me. She walks around to the side of the counter and leans against it like she’s the owner instead of Meredith.“H..Hi.” I squeak.Those full red lips spread open into a smile. Her brown eyes flicker and her skin keeps changing color, becoming a light milk chocolate then a dark mocha. She smells of exotic places and she makes me think of pirates.“Are you the new woman in charge around here?” She asks.I laugh a little too enthusiastically, a nervous habit. “No, Meredith left and I’m just holding down the fort until Nick shows.”“Who is Nick?” She asks.“Her husband.”“Oh, so not a boyfriend?” She moves in a little closer. Behind her the pink punk girl smirks.“No…no, not at all.” I said.“Wow, a little bit of venom in that response.” She said.“No, I have a boyfriend.” I was used to trying to prove I wasn’t a lesbian or bi or whatever I am. Kissing girls at parties is one thing, really loving women is an entirely different reality. Men don’t mind if you like women but tell them you ONLY want a woman and be prepared for a completely different reaction. I didn’t really have a boyfriend. He was just a guy that came over and fucked me after school but I guess that counts. Whatever the case I knew what I was, I was confused.“Oh, ok.” She said. “Where…umm…are you guys from around here?” I ask.“Yes.” It was the dark haired beauty with the punk girl. She moved with a dancer’s grace over to the counter. “We just opened a tattoo place around the corner.”“Wow! That’s awesome!”“You like tattoos?” They ask.“I don’t know. I guess so. I mean no one around here really has tattoos.” “Well, when you turn eighteen you should come by and get one.” “I…”The black woman that smelled like a mix of Indian spice, coffee, and chocolate leans down close to me and places her hand on my shoulder whispering, “You don’t really have to be eighteen.”“Don’t tell her that shit Dee! She’ll go tell her friends and then all these kids will be getting us shut down.”“You wouldn’t do that would you?” She asks.“No. You guys are the coolest people I think I’ve ever seen.”This made the entire group erupt in laughter. “And you are the prettiest girl I think I’ve ever seen.” Dee said. “What’s your name?”“Paula.” “I’m Desire but most people just call me Dee.”“Ok Dee.”“No, call me Desire. You aren’t most people yet… but we can work on changing that.” And Desire winks at me.“Dee, she is way too young for you.”My eyes must have been as big as golf balls. Sure I was confused, sure I was in love with Tina, a GIRL, but I had never really been open about it. In fact I had been taught that it was something to be ashamed of and to suppress. I believed that I was wrong and everyone else was normal. Now, oh God, now a beautiful woman was hitting on me! Me!“Shut up Persia. I think Paula is a woman and she can make up her own mind.” Desire looks at me and I really did have to hold my legs to keep from trembling.“I saw the way she was looking at Amber.” Persia says. Amber smiles and tilts her head slightly allowing a lock of blue hair to fall in with the rest of her shiny soft black hair. She was a woman used to having people look at her and obviously enjoyed it.“Persia, come look at this shit.” One of the guys in the back said.Persia rolled her eyes and walked to the guys in the back. I heard them talking in the background. Amber moved closer and in the right light her top was completely transparent. Her navel and nipples are pierced. She seems unconcerned by her semi-nudity or Escort İstanbul the fact that the rings through her nipples are clearly visible through the sheer dance top. In fact I think that was exactly what she was going for. She told Desire she was going to join Persia in the back and I could see her tongue was pierced as well. To me, she seemed like an exotic bird.“Like that?” Desire asked and breaking my stare.“What?”“Her tits.” “Wha..I wasn’t…”“Its ok baby, she has amazing tits. I would look at them too if I didn’t see them every day. I don’t think she should have pierced her nipples though. You should have seen her cute little nipples before she shoved that metal through them. Mmmm…mmmm, it was like looking at two little white chocolate Hersey’s kisses.”“So you guys are like…”“Yep, Gay. One-hundred percent.” “Wow.”“Stand up.”“Huh?”“Stand up.”Unsure why, I stood up. I expected that Desire was going to tell me something about my clothes. I knew I wasn’t dressed anywhere near as cool as them. In fact I was wearing the same clothes I had been wearing since the 10th grade. I became self-conscious about my body but only for a moment because Desire grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to her. Her lips locked onto mine and she wrapped her other arm around me and tipped me back. I felt like I was in a movie. Roles were unclear and I didn’t fight her when she pressed her tongue into my mouth. I felt the metal stud roll around between our tongues as she kissed me. Her hands moved up my shirt and she cupped my little breast. She pinched my nipple sending sharp sensations up my spine. Heat flooded down my body and centered right between my legs.“Fuck Dee!” Desire didn’t stop when she heard Persia’s voice. She moved her hand down to my ass and cupped my butt cheek. She ground her hips into me and I fully expected to feel a stiff cock but there was nothing, just the soft mound of a womanly flesh.“What is she Dee, fourteen? Jesus Christ! Get us arrested why don’t ya?”“Wow, maybe we should leave?” A guy’s voice came in.“Maybe we should get them a room.” Another guy said.Desire’s kiss faltered. Her tongue slipped out of my mouth. The last thing she did before the kiss broke completely was to slip her hand over my crotch and press her fingers into my pussy. I was beyond wet. I was beyond return. I would have done anything Desire wanted at that moment. Anything.“I think you need to break up with your boyfriend.” Desire said.I look over at the others and see them pretending to mind their own business. I look back at Desire and see she is absolutely serious.“Ok.” I say.“Want to give me a number?” Desire asks.“I…our phone…our phone got shut off.” I hated it the moment I said it. It sounded like an excuse and I could see by the look on Desire’s face that’s exactly how she took it.“Really?”“Yes, really. But I’m having a party tomorrow night. You guys should totally come! There will be lots of people there. Meredith is bringing some booze.”“How quaint.” Persia said.“Oh, you are about to have the best party your little teenie-bopper friends have ever had. What is your address? Write it down for me.” I wrote my address down on a piece of paper and folded it handing it to Desire. Desire grabbed my hand and curled her fingers through mine like I was her girlfriend. I had never had this happen before. I had dreamed about it. I had written about it. I had masturbated about it. All my life I had felt this was what I wanted but now that it was happening I just wanted to jerk my hand away and go run and hide.“Amber! Look at this little Voodoo bank! Isn’t it cool?”“Oh you should get it. This would look great in our room.” Amber said.They were like any other couple. They were cute and in love. I could have this. That could be me.“Call him.” Desire said.“Huh?”“Your boyfriend, call him.” Desire picks up the phone and hands it to me.Amber and Persia walk away. I feel the unpleasant air that has suddenly blown into our happy lesbian party. I feel the need to challenge Desire.“I’ll do it later.”“Why? Why not do it now?” “Ok, don’t get angry.”I pick up the phone and dial Ian’s number.
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