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Subject: DOCTOR WHO, JESSE, AND JEREMY 91 DOCTOR WHO, JESSE AND JEREMY This episode is dedicated to the great Paul Newman, alive in the after life and hereforever. “They’re coming this way,” Jeremy squinted. The mob…for that’s what they were…came down the street. They weren’t running but they were making good time at a good pace. Some carried baseball bats, some carried pitchforks, and some carried guns. The Doctor sighed. Jesse rounded on the Doctor, putting his arm down, “God, can you put a shirt on?” “Nope.” “God, did I just say that?” Jesse did a double take. It was true. It could be embarrassing to have the Doctor interact with people dressed…or rather hardly dressed the way he was. Jesse loved shirtless as much as the next guy who loved guys but he needed the Doctor to have some…authority. “You need some authority…” The mob consisted of people from Coronation Street, Grange Hill, The East End of London, Emmerdale Farm, Shortland Street, Byker Grove, Long Island, Oakdale in Illinois, Port Charles in upstate New York, Shreveport in Louisiana, Llanview in Pennsylvania, Orlando in Florida, Sunset Beach in California, San Clemente in California, Ballykissangel in Killorglin, County Kerry in Ireland and various other places all over the Earth. The mob also had skateboarders, a motorcycle gang member or two, life guards, jocks, and others who seemed angry and confused. They marched toward the five. “I don’t think they’re here to welcome us, Doctor,” Jeremy said, putting his chin on the Doctor’s arm where his upper arm linked to his lower arm. “Humans,” the Doctor sighed, “Can be as deadly as the Daleks…” The mob came at them….shouting, waving weapons… “I come in piece,” the Doctor put both hands up. “Look, I have two of your friends here…” “He’s holding them captive!” Tucker from Grange Hill yelled, bracing a baseball bat in his hands. “What?” the Doctor turned and looked at Parker and Liberty, “I’m not, am I?” Both were scared and wide eyed. Both shook their heads “no”. The Doctor looked reassured with a beatific smile and turned to face the mob. Parker whispered, “He’s strange.” “I like him.” “Figures,” Parker’s head went down, his face almost obscured in his long brown, silky, hair. “Not in the same way I like you,” Liberty kissed Parker’s cheek, making him cheer up and pick his head up and smile. Liberty then added, “But this mob…” “Not to worry,E2 the Doctor said loudly as he kept his hands up, “We run into this kind of thing all the time…now listen to me, I’m the Doctor…” He smiled as the mob came up close…. DOCTOR WHO With… Adam Rickitt as the Doctor JESSE AND JEREMY Chapter 91: IN-FIGHTING “Don’t worry about this,” Jeremy ducked under the Doctor’s arm on his left side, “We’ll handle this…” Jesse moved the Doctor’s right arm and followed Jeremy, “After all, they’re our people, aren’t they? From Earth…” “What? I suppose so,” the Doctor said, bewildered, “But I’m perfectly capable of…” Liberty poked the Doctor’s bare shoulder from behind, “Doctor, are you and they…” “Yeah, we are,” the Doctor stared at his two lovers who moved at the mob. “Which one do you love more?” Parker asked. “Parker,” Liberty scolded but the truth be known, she wanted to ask the question as well. “Dean Cain,” the Doctor smirked. As he strode forward, confident but not arrogant, Jeremy smiled, “There’s no need for8 0” He ducked aside sharply as a rock thrown almost hit his head. Jesse came up in front, “You guys wanna throw down? Okay! I’ll throw down…” “No,” Jeremy nodded, “Don’t do that…really, don’t do that. Look, listen, we’re not the ones behind this…” “That guy behind you!” Tucker yelled, “Is he or isn’t he alien?” “He’s…” Jeremy started. “This is ridiculous,” the Doctor pushed between Jeremy and Jesse. He put his hands up again, “I’m the Doctor, and I am an…” Jeremy shut his eyes, “No, don’t do THAT.” “Don’t,” Jesse grimaced. “…an alien. Well,” the Doctor nodded his head, “Sometimes. Sometimes I’m fully human, like you, sometimes I’m half human, on my mum’s side…” Stuart, Nathan, and Vince were all watching with interest. Stuart moved over to the Doctor, making Nathan and Vince more than a little jealous. Stuart said, “Good God, it’s Michelangelo’s David.” “Met him once,” the Doctor charmingly smiled. “Which one?” Vince came forward. “Both, actually.” The Doctor smiled. Nathan, lo oking the Doctor up and down, jealous, shouting, “So he DOES TRAVEL IN TIME!!!” A woman, British shouted out, “YOU’RE THE ONES WHO BROUGHT US HERE!” This stirred up others. They began to blame and shout at the Doctor. One came up with a pitchfork. He was a great big stocky Irishman, a farmer, the Doctor thought by the looks of him. As he came at them, The Doctor rushed up to the man, hit him in the chest with a flat hand, grabbed the pitchfork and broke the main shaft of it over his upper leg, toward his knee. He tossed it aside angrily. The farmer looked at the Doctor, not sure what to do but started to throw a punch. Jeremy stepped forward but he was wide eyed as he saw the Doctor catch the punch in his right hand, then use his left hand to block a punch from the man’s other hand. The Doctor struggled for a moment, holding the man’s hand and pushed it back, “I prefer my punch in a bowl or in a show, you know, with Judy, as in Punch and…” He pushed the man back, the man being at least six inches taller and wider and broader. Every muscle on the Doctor’s lean, hot body bulged. “Go to sleep, my good man, you meant well but violence should only be the last resort…sleep…sleep is what you need…” “Yeah,” the man dropped his head, then his body. The Doctor caught him and lowered him to the floor easily. “Can’t have him fall and hit his head. A rock on the ground might get inside and then what would we do?” “He’s strong, too,” Rex Balsom said. He had frosted blond hair, long sideburns and stood almost six four. He wore a black tie over an open striped button down shirt, another shirt under that one. “We can’t fight that…” he threw down a bat. Brody, a man with curly short, brown hair, shorter than Rex but more muscled was next to him. “Leave it to you to give up, Balsom.” “I’m Rex Balsom,” the other said to the Doctor. “As in Balsa Wood, how fitting,” Jesse said, loudly. “Jesse, that’s not the way to make friends,” the Doctor put his hand out and shook Rex’s. Rex held the hand, “I got him, now get him!” “That’s not sporting!” The Doctor twisted Rex’s hand and the arm followed. He then made Rex turn bodily toward the mob and he threw Rex at the mob as the mob came forward. “STOP!” Jeremy came forward again and put his right hand out, while putting his other behind him to cover the Doctor, “UNLESS the first of you want a broken face!” He had his hand in a stop sign fashion, fingers up and palm open. “And I reckon after bein g savaged by crotch less alien monks, nearly having my stomach squeezed in by vines until was about to pop out my sides…” A girl from the East end whispered to her friend, “I doubt that any vine could do that. See those abs…?” “Yeah…” Jeremy didn’t hear them and he was going on, “…almost gored by boars�”the animal type, not your type, nearly run through by several alien savages including ancient,” he searched for a word and turned to the Doctor. The Doctor looked at him, “Gallifreans…” “…Gallifreans and other swordsmen, getting snowed on, chased and nearly eaten by dinosaurs and even almost tongued by a giant frog, swallowed by the very ground of this alien world, thrown down a hill by these ugly insect giant alien gods, having had to walk through a scorching alien desert just about naked, covered in alien plant oil, shoved into a two by two alien tomb while a sand storm rips apart my best friend and lover, and practically raped by not so hot hairy cavemen, being raped by hot cave boys…you lot, one at a time or all at once won’t register a thought on my radar as I KICK YOUR ASSES!!!” His hand formed a fist and he brought the other forward, also making it into a fist. Rex stood up, “But he’s behind all this!” And you’re hot, Je remy thought. A female voice called from the crowed, “He’s brought us here!” The Doctor put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder and came past him, “I have not. I can assure you. I will, however find out who has done this and reverse it all so that you’re all back to your proper times and places.” Rex joined the Doctor side by side, “I’m…I’m sorry…” “Balsom, you suck,” Brody said. “You do?” The Doctor turned and breathed on the side of Rex’s face. Rex raised both brown eyebrows but could feel the sexuality generated by this Doctor. “Sorry, don’t swing that way…” then he looked at the Doctor’s dark eyes and blond hair. … “yet…” The Doctor smiled. “I see.” An older man in a cowboy hat but with a big formidable body came over to them. “Doctor, I’m Asa Buchanan. If you could get me and my family out of here first, I could make it worth your while.” “Hello sir, love a man in a cowboy hat. Was one myself once.” “What a hat or a cowboy.” The Doctor pointed at him, “Hahaha, that’s very funny. Very good.” Asa leaned in close, “See, there’s all these influences around. All the se gay boys. If you meet them all, you’ll find out that there’s more than half of …of those kind of people.” “Really? That’s against all odds, isn’t it? Isn’t it supposed to be like, I dunno, ten percent.” Asa whispered, “I think that’s because some of em don’t admit it to the census takers.” The Doctor played along, “Yeah, they should come right out and tell those census takers, shouldn’t they?” “Yes, then we’ll all know who they are,” Asa said, seriously. “Yeah,” Jesse came forward, “And then we could put em all in one place.” “Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a homophobe. I just don’t want them around my grandchildren.” Jeremy came from behind Jesse, “Don’t worry. We won’t have any gay guys anywhere in bed with you.” “The very thought,” Asa shivered. “Put it there, all three of you. To getting the gays out last…not that they shouldn’t get out. Just that I don’t want them on my beam ride back home.” Jesse shook his hand, “Yeah, we want you out first.” “Away from all those gay guys,” Jeremy shook his hand. “I think we’ll let you in on a little secret a bit later, Asa.=2 0That way you won’t be disappointed.” “Very well, and if you come with us, with my family and I back to Earth, I can give you want you want.” “Oh, okay,” the Doctor winked, “I think just by you getting out of here, I’ll be getting what I want.” “Thanks, Doctor.” As he walked away, the Doctor’s smile dropped. Jesse watched the old man and kept smiling. “The retard.” “I hate that word.” “Well, so do I,” Jesse said, “But he’s…” Jeremy chimed in, “Let’s let him think we’re not gay for as long as he remains ignorant, okay? I’d like to find out how long he can be so stupid.” Searching the crowd, Liberty called out, “Mom, is that you? Dad?” Brad Snyder and his blond wife Katie came forward. Brad moved past the Doctor, Jesse, Rex, Jeremy and the snoring farmer to get to Parker and Liberty. Another woman, dark hair, taller, came forward also. Jesse moved to protect Liberty and Parker. Brad nodded his head at him, standing much taller, at 6’5. Jesse nodded. Brad said, “It’s all right. She’s my daughter and he’s my nephew…” Jesse curled his lip, “Nephew and…daughter?” He turned to look at Parker, “That means you tw o…” Brad moved Jesse aside, “He’s my adopted nephew. It’s okay if they fuck…” Brad winced at what he just said, unbelieving that that could come out of his mouth. “Dad!” Liberty said. “Slipped out.” Parker had to cover his mouth to cover up his almost-laugh. Liberty’s mother, the dark haired woman, came up to her, “Are you okay?” “Yes, mom,” Liberty said, caringly, “We just wanted to be away from all these people, you know?” “I get it,” the dark haired woman said, and after hugging Liberty and smiling at Parker, she turned to Jesse, “Thanks for protecting her.” She put her hand out for Jesse to shake, which he did. “I’m Janet Ciccone.” Liberty looked at her father, Brad and his wife, Katie. “The Doctor’s good. He hasn’t hurt us. He’s trying to help us.” Parker agreed, “Yeah.” Another teen, a few years older than Parker, possibly 18 or 19, came up to them, “Yeah, you would say that.” “Leo, we told you before, just stay away from her,” Parker said. “A love triangle, how nice,” the Doctor snarled. “EWL, Leo Morrissey, the rapist,” Liberty raised a corner of her upper lip, “Doctor, I was all ready to support you.” “How nice.” The Doctor smiled back. “I never had anyone actually say they’d work for me before. Of course, Rose offered to get me a job so I could get my own mortgage but that’s not as nice as you saying…” Liberty smiled, “Those eyes. Anyway, Parker’s right, the Doctor’s good stuff.” Jesse whispered, “Full of good stuff, too. I know. The taste of it…” The Doctor smiled, “You see…I’m perfectly …” Jeremy added, quieter, “Perfect…” “I am going to get you all home. I have to find out a few things first. Like what time you all came from and what parts of your planet came here with you…” “You sound British,” a Californian 17 year old came up to him from behind the front line of the mob. He held a red, white and blue skateboard. “I am, sometimes, on me mum’s side,” the Doctor nodded his head the other way. “I suppose.” “Sheck? Sheck, is that you? Ryan Sheckler,” Jeremy came up alongside the Doctor and grabbed Ryan’s hand and shook it hard, “I thought that was you.” Ryan smiled and turned the lad around and put himself next to the Doctor, “Jere my. Jeremy Sumpter…” “You’re not really part of this gang?” Jeremy asked, “Are you?” Ryan nodded, “We…we’re just trying to get to the bottom of this…but you’re not…you’re not …you know, gay, are you?” Jeremy withdrew his hand as a lump formed in his throat. “So…” he felt upset, the rising heaviness that came with confrontation of someone who didn’t like homosexuals filling his chest, rising from his belly. He felt hurt and stood up straight and said with his lips almost closed, “So, you’re from a time after December of 2007…” “Yeah,” Ryan said, “And you did a really stupid thing…” “You mean telling everyone I was gay?” “What? No, handing out bags of gold dust and not giving me some,” Ryan laughed and grabbed up Jeremy’s hand again and drew him to his body, “Course I don’t care if you’re gay…” Jesse smiled, overhearing that and turned to look at Brad, Katie, and Janet, reuniting and scolding, even mildly with Parker and Liberty. He realized he’s never have children…unless he adopted or went to a sperm bank but with all the strange places and planets and races the Doctor knew—and he thought of the men who had children by killing each other. He had to focus. “You don’t need gold dust. You’re fucking rich, ya famous bastard!” Jesse came over to Ryan. Ryan shook his hand, “We met once. A long time ago. You were really into yourself.” “He still is,” Jeremy whispered to Ryan’s ear. “I am,” Jesse smiled and “gang” shook Ryan’s whole body. “That wasn’t. I mean…I wasn’t…that wasn’t, you know, ahh, a uhm, a gay thing.” Ryan laughed, “I know. I’m not an imbecile.” “Course not,” Jesse smiled. “So you and he…” Ryan pointed back and forth from Jesse to Jeremy. Jesse nodded, “Yeah, hey, I need a guy who’s smart…” The Doctor, mingling with several of the other people positively now, and holding a little girl in his arms, broke in between them, “Denims and boots works for me…” He moved back away and talked to the others, mainly the little girl, “What’s your name, little one?” After the Doctor put the girl down and she ran off, Rex came up to the Doctor, “Hey, Doc, I’m sorry, okay?” “No hard feelings Rex,” the Doctor said but then he looked at his crotch, “Wellll, for you Rex there are…” CWe’re from Llanview in Pennsylvania, 2008. Sorry, had to mention that cause most of us are from different times, well mostly from 2008 but there are guys from 1991, 1986, even 1971 and oh, hey,” Rex smiled, then called behind him, “Shane!” A young boy with long hair cut in the back and bangs in front of his face, looking like a mini version of Rex came forward. “This is my son Shane.” Shane, 10 years old, came up to the Doctor and put his hand out, “Hello…” “So you two….” Ryan looked at the Doctor talking to the others, “Anddddd….him?” Jeremy came up to Ryan sideways, “Uh huh…” Ryan nodded, “Hey yeah. I get it.” “You? You do?” Jesse asked from the other side of them. “Yeah. I mean if I was I would. You know?” “If you were…you would?” Jeremy asked. “Uhh, huh, I mean just…just look at him. He’s…” Ryan noticed… “Yeah,” Jesse nodded. “He sure is.” “Yeah, and he’s caring, I mean…” Jeremy smiled, “I need a guy who’s got a big heart…” The Doctor came forward again, “Two of those, actually….” He moved back to the former mob. The Doctor was telling others that the farmer will sleep and be all right and up in a few hours. “Or not, wake up.” The farmer woke up and apologized to the Doctor after the initial grogginess went away. “Yeah, well, I needed a guy who could make the time,” Jesse shrugged, “And he sure can give us plenty of that.” Popping in between again, the Doctor returned, “Yeah, cause that’s my specialty.” Jesse knelt down, “I wish he’d stop doing that.” Ryan didn’t fully get it. “Wait a minute. You mean, you both…do…you have….each other…and…all three of ya?” “Yes,” Jeremy said, “And we love each other but we also have an open relationship. We see others if we want to.” Ryan gulped, “That’s outrageous.” “We’ve been back and forth through time, between the end of this universe and beyond it and the beginning of this universe and before that and sometimes fully out of it into others,” Jeremy added, “…even ones that run side by side with our own, or that run inside our own but on a different frequency or ones that try to replace our own. All that, space and time travel. THAT’S outrageous…” He smiled in wonder. “Ye ah,” Jesse said, “And if, say, you like, let’s say meet a werewolf or Robin the Boy Wonder and want to fuck one or the other of them,” Jesse’s face brightened up, “…you can!” He said this with such relish, such fascination, it made Ryan a bit jealous of the lifestyle. “With me it was with a guy who was one of those who started VCRs,” Jeremy said, “Oh, and a vampire…” “And a guy who was a tree,” Jesse smiled. “AWESOME!” Jesse added, “And plenty of aliens…we’ve seen plenty of those…some of em even worth having it on with …” “That’s so hot.” Ryan added. “There was this guy once with six…” Jeremy nodded, “Enough about us, what about you?” “Not much to tell. I was on tournament and suddenly found myself here…” Ryan said, “A bright light, the works. I figured it was aliens. Oh, and hey, I was only kidding about the gold dust. I know you guys gave bags of that stuff to the homeless people at that big gala you held. I thought you two were so brave for coming out.” Jesse smiled, “Would you do it?” “Yeah, no, I’m not brave,” Ryan joked. “No, really. I’m not, you know… “You can say the word, Ryan,” Jeremy smiled, “GAY.” “Okay,” Ryan stated. “I mean o gay.” “Hey,” a blond with long sideburns came up to them. He had a cleft chin. Behind him was a darker skinned taller guy with a more severe nose but handsomely smoldering good looks. “So are we,” he put a hand out, “I’m Luke and this is Noah…” The Doctor joined them now, “Ahh. Luke and Noah. Two names right out of the Bible, which has got nothing to do with the Jews.” Silence so that the crickets could be heard if there are any out at this time of day. The Doctor broke the silence, “It was a joke from an old ALL IN THE FAMILY episode…Archie Bunker…hmmm, you know an alternate 8th me once got imprinted when he broke out watching Archie Bunker on the scanner and he became…I became a version of myself that looked and acted just like Archie Bunker …” he went into a stare. “HE,” Jeremy started, “Does that sometimes…Doctor…” Jeremy snapped his fingers in front of the Doctor’s eyes and the Doctor woke up. “We have to figure out what you’re going to do?” “Yes, yes,” the Doctor touched his own nipples which made everyone uncomfortable. “Yes, not to worry,20Not to worry at all.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “Actually, Luke, Noah, I’m sure I’m going to get along fine with each of you,” the Doctor bursa escort bayan shook their hands vociferously, “Just like I did with your namesakes…” Noah looked at Luke, “Name sakes?” “Yeah, the guy who built the boat,” the Doctor went wide eyed, took back his hands to wave them up, indicating a great height, “A REALLY BIG boat…” he said, deepening his normally tender voice into a deep macho one, “And the guy who wrote that part of the Bible…Luke…” Luke laughed, “You really do travel in time.” The Doctor nodded his head, Tenth Doctor style, “That’s me…” “Hey, alien,” a smaller boy came up to them. He was about 14 and dark skinned. He had bags under his eyes. “Yeah?” The Doctor looked down at him and smiled. “You have HIV don’t you?” “How’d…” the boy said, “I’m Eli Traeger from 1996. I’m from Llanview, too. Like Rex and Shane and Shane’s mom there, Gigi but they’re from…” A very tall long haired man came behind Eli. “I’m Dylon Moody. I run the …” Eli turned, “JD hall…9 D Dylon looked like an artist’s version of Tarzan, except he had on an orange tank top, short orange gym shorts but his long black hair and blue eyes struck the Doctor, “Rec Center…Eli don’t bother the Doctor now…” “No, no,” the Doctor looked only at Eli and took his hand and put it under Eli’s chin. Others gathered around to watch. The Doctor lifted his hand so that Eli and his eyes were staring at each other. “I think I can help.” From his denim shorts, the Doctor took out the sonic screwdriver. “Don’t fail me now.” In a white lab coat, Robin Scorpio came forward, “Are you a medical doctor?” “Yep,” the Doctor said, not looking at her, “Wellll, one degree short of a degree, if you know what I mean…I think I took a degree once, or twice, once in Glasgow, 1888, I think.” The elfin Robin was exasperated, “You’re mad, clearly.” The Doctor turned, “And you’re a little girl. Remind me of my dear sweet Zoey…Jeremy, doesn’t she look like Zoey?”” “Uhm, I’m sure, Doctor, what’re you doing?” Jeremy came to them. Ryan and Jesse followed him. “I AM a doctor who specializes in AIDS in Port Charles, New York,” Robin said, “I don’t know what exactly you can do for him under these conditions but…” “Shhh,” the Doctor said, “I’m blood hunting…” He did this with a lisp of Elmer Fudd. He held the sonic screwdriver up and watched, wide eyed as when he pushed a button, a small sharp needle came out. He stuck the sonic screwdriver into his own arm and a small slot that uncovered a clear tube appeared. This filled with his own blood which looked red but also had some kind of green tint to it. “C’m’ere!” He grabbed Eli’s arm and stuck the sonic screwdriver into it. Everyone yelled. “OW!” Eli gasped. Dylon, from behind Eli, tried to shove Eli aside but the Doctor pushed Dylon back with his free hand placed against the massive chest, “Don’t interfere!” Dylon tried to attack again but the Doctor pushed him back and Dylon fell onto his butt. He immediately stood again but caught the Doctor’s gaze and read it. He backed off. “No one must interfere!” The Doctor stopped watching Dylon and began to watch as he injected Eli with his own blood. Others came at the Doctor again. A mob. Jeremy stuck one hand out again at them, “BACK OFF!” Jesse and Ryan came to either side of Jeremy and nodded for the others to back off as well. Ryan held his skateboard like a weapon at the mob. Robin gasped, “But he’s injecting him!” “He’s using him for some kind of experiment,” Brody yelled. Jesse saw the muscled Brody was strong but didn’t care, “You’re a real ass, aren’t you?” “No.” “It was a rhetorical question.” Brody said, “I knew that,” then he turned to Gigi who was behind him with Shane and a pouting Rex, “Does anybody…anybody know what rhetorical means?” “More metaphorical,” the Doctor said as he watched Eli’s arm. Robin called out from near Ryan, “Whatever you’re doing can kill him.” “Yes,” the Doctor said out loud without wavering from what he was doing. “Don’t come another step closer!” Jeremy yelled as the crowd came closer. “The Doctor knows what he’s doing.” He turned his back slightly, pivoting on his hips, “You DO know what you’re doing, don’t you?” “Yes.” The Doctor said without feeling. Eli stared at his arm and then up at the Doctor, “You’re putting your blood into mine, aren’t you?” “Yes.” It was a cold yes as if the Doctor didn’t care. Eli asked, “Can’t that be dangerous?0 “Yes.” “You’re doing it to…” Eli blinked, “I…I can’t believe it. I feel it. You’re doing it to….no way…to heal me.” “Yes,” the Doctor said, this time with feeling and caring. “And…WELLAHHH…” the Doctor pulled the sonic screwdriver out, “done. How’da ya feel?” Eli staggered and Robin came forward to catch him, “What’ve you done?” Ryan moved to Jesse’s ear, “Is this Doctor okay in the head?” Jesse frowned, put out his lower lip, “Puffahhh, anybody can be okay in the head. The Doctor’s…ahh, he’s special, you know?” “Is this kid going to be all right?” Jesse nodded, “I’m sure,” and he turned to look at Ryan and smiled. “It’s okay, you all,” Jesse said, putting on a Southern drawl, “He’s all right.” He slipped over to the Doctor, after giving Ryan and Jeremy a quick, “Hold the fort…” At the Doctor’s back, he asked, “He is going to be all right, isn’t he?” “I’m sure,” the Doctor smiled and held Eli’s hands. “You are all right.” “Same way the farmer was,” a voice, heavy Irish, ca lled out. “I’m fine, no shrimpie on the Barbie can take me out,” the farmer said. “I’m not Australian,” the Doctor turned his head. Robin took Eli’s arms and took him from the Doctor, eyeing the Doctor cautiously, “Come on, honey, I’ll check you out at my lab…” “Lab?” the Doctor brightened, “You have a lab?” “Yes,” Robin said, “And if I find that you’ve done something…” She shook her head, “I don’t know…” “Miss,” the Doctor had to bend down to the shorter woman, “He …is…all..right.” To Robin, he sounded compassionate. She squinted her eyes, her look into his, trying to read him, to figure out what his deal was. The Doctor put his hands on her arms as he spoke but then let go, taking a slightly harsher tone. “But go…go and check him out. It’s your compassionate nature that made you become the doctor you are. And when you find he’s cured, come back and I’ll do the same for you.” “You…” She shook her head, “I don’t know.” She walked off, “Come on.” She lead Eli off. Shane looked at Gigi, “Can I go with them?” Gigi looked at Rex, who20nodded and smiled. Shane smiled back, “Thanks.” “Come on, I’ll go with you, too,” Matthew Buchanan said. He had a raspy voice and was just 12, three years older than Shane. The pair followed Eli and Robin. “Wait up, Eli…” Dylon came up behind the Doctor again, “If it turns out that anything’s wrong with…” The Doctor dismissed him with a wave of his hand, “Look, forget the threats, will you? We have ahhh, more pressing problems.” “Like what?” An old British woman named Dot Cotton came forward. She wore a dowdy red flowered dress, very old fashioned. “Like me getting you all out of here, mame,” the Doctor said. “Oh, he’s so polite n all innit he?” Dot turned to Pauline Fowler�”who just rolled her pretty eyes. “Gran!” Nick Cotton came forward, “Don’t mind me gran, Doc. If me dad were here, he’d soon sort this. I’m Ashley Cotton, Doctor.” He put a hand on the Doctor’s bare shoulder. The Doctor brightened again and asked with enthusiasm, bouncing up on the balls of his feet, “Are you Nick’s son?” “Yeah!” Ashley brightened too, “You know my father?” The Doctor continued his energetic manner but then added something as he20dropped it all, “Yeah, don’t like him.” His shoulders drooped. “Let me talk to him,” Darren Miller, a London East End kid with short cropped hair, a wide open face, thick lips, and light brown-green eyes came forward. He was muscled but slight in build. He wore a blue T shirt and denim pants. ” Craig Dixon moved toward the Doctor. He had light blond-brown hair and twinkle in his eye. Jeremy moved to the Doctor’s side, “Doctor, except for the lighter hair, he looks just like…” “Tommy!” The Doctor put his hand out and shook it, then put his other hand over Craig’s. “Tommy Connolly! Surely, it is you, isn’t it?” Craig inched back, taking the Doctor’s hands with him, pulling the half naked Time Lord with him, “No…” His eyebrows raised and his face red, he wanted to get away…fast. “Sorry, he …you looked like a friend of our’s,” Jeremy moved closer to Craig. “And you young man, should be ashamed of yourself for…” The Doctor looked into Craig’s eyes. “Never mind. I see you’ve suffered enough.” He turned away, taking his hands off Craig’s. “Now, what to do. What to do. What to do about them.” “About who, Doctor?” Darren asked. “The m! Them! Them!” Raising his hand and arms in the air, the Doctor shouted. “They’re coming. Something’s coming. And we have to…we have to…” “We have to what?” Ryan asked. “Listen to me, all of you,” The Doctor said, “I think…I think we should…” He looked at the little girl moving among the crowd. “I think we should…have a story night…” A round of noise stirred up from the crowd, all of them, including Jesse and Jeremy, who looked at the Doctor as if he were crazy. “Welll, it helps me to think and I think…I think we should have it on the highest spot…” he turned and looked around, whirling. “Anyone know where that be?” The little girl pointed toward west. “Go west, young girl,” the Doctor bent down to her and looked, “What’s your name, sweet pea?” “Hyun-Seo.” “Show me!” The Doctor picked her up. She pointed and they passed some houses as the Doctor ran, the crowd following them. “Ahhh, yes. Perfect place Hyun Seo.” The Doctor reaches into his denim cut off’s back pocket and pulls out an impossibly huge telescope. He does this with one hand and with the other is holding Hyun Seo. He looks through the scope and sees a black metal str ucture. High up was what seemed to be a London East End train trestle, the train overpass between two vertical metal supports, all black. Lucinda Walsh came to Luke and Noah, “What’s this crack pot up to now?” Luke smiled, “Grandmother, that’s where he wants us to go.” “I can’t get up there!” The Doctor nudged against her fine business suit, “Then stay down here. We’re going to have a fabulous story night…” Lucinda turned, “What’s your name? Doctor? Now see here. I’m asking for straight answers…” The Doctor smiled at her and then at Luke, “Then find someone who’s straight to give them to you.” Luke laughed as the Doctor moved off, put the girl down, and moved to Jeremy and Jesse. Jesse asked, “What the fuck are you doing?” “Yeah, Doctor, a story night?” Jeremy said, “With Daleks possibly on the way?” “Getting everyone that high up…” the Doctor looked up at the train overpass, “It’s far enough to be safe from Dalek guns, the type in the closet.” Jeremy nodded, understanding now. “And…?” Jesse asked. “And…” the Doctor ruffled Jesse’s hair and Jesse blinked, “It’ll give me a great way to see them20if they’re coming our way and judge how soon they’ll be here…” “Can THESE Daleks…climb?” Jesse asked. “If they’re like the one in the closet…” the Doctor paused, realizing the statement he just made and he chuckled to himself, “…probably not but I think I can use the sonic screwdriver to put most of their machinery out of action…depending on how many there are…” “So?” Ryan came up in between Jesse and Jeremy, put an elbow on each of their shoulders and faced the Doctor, “…what now?” “Get everybody up there,” the Doctor put a hand on Ryan’s chin and then turned, pulled away, “Even that old bat Lucinda and the kind old Dot Cotton and the entire gang…I’m going to check out the perimeter of the closest entrance into this…town or whatever you want to call it… a patchwork town… ” “Can I help, too?” A broad shouldered light brown haired East Ender came up. He sported metal rimmed glasses. “What year are you from?” The Doctor asked. “1987,” the man said, “I’m Lofty,” he shook the Doctor’s hand and the Doctor shook it wildly, before letting it go. “You can come with me,” the Doctor stated. Jeremy rol led his eyes as did Jesse. Lofty had a quiet demeanor for one so tall and muscled. His face was average though, Jesse thought. As they ran down a street, which changed to include an old fashioned movie theatre on Long Island, New York, The Doctor made an abrupt stop, making a quick halt in mid run. He put his arms out, making Lofty partially bounce into them and partially into his bare back with one side of his front. The Doctor looked up. “Wait. What’s that?” He pointed to the marquee. It read NIGHTS IN RODANTHE. “I…uh, is that a Godzilla movie?” “I think it’s with the bloke from AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN.” “Really? Never thought Richard Gere would be in a Godzilla movie. Besides, they put the article in the wrong place. It should be in front of the word Nights, shouldn’t it?” “I don’t think it’s a flying pterodactyl movie, Doctor.” “Mmmm, if he’s in it, it’s probably a romance.” “Should we get going?” “Yes, Lofty, my love,” the Doctor turned to him, “Cmon!” As Jeremy and Jesse started moving the people up a lift that took them to the platform, the older people and very young children using the lifts, the teens climbing the ladders, the Doctor took Lofty to the end of a street which just came to an end and m elded into the sand of the desert. The Doctor used his sonic screwdriver, pointing it out from his body on a horizontal angle to his shoulder. “So Lofty…” “Hmmm?” “How many of you are there?” “Oh, I’d guess about 40 or so, give or take.” “Did you all appear together or at separate times?” “Hard to tell, Doctor. I think it was together. I mean you can imagine the confusion and panic at first but we all settled down pretty quickly.” “Yes.” The Doctor read the screwdriver reading on the top dial. He turned to Lofty, “I saw the teens behind the bar.” “So why’d you pick me?” “Aye?” “Doctor, to come with you?” “I needed company and someone who’s part of the group that came here. I needed to ask those questions and maybe some more and needed someone…” the Doctor moved to Lofty and stared him in the face gently, very close up… “Doctor. Personal space?” “…who’s calmer than the others, less likely to violence.” “Thanks. Did I help?” “Oh yes,” the Doctor put an arm around Lofty’s back, the man even taller than the Doctor was. “Tell me is there anyplace that has met allic sheeting?” “Sheets of metal? That sort of thing?” “Yes, that sort of thing.” “I think there’s a part of a steel mill here…that way.” “Come on.” The Doctor said, “We’ve got work to do.” He patted Lofty on the shoulder, “Show me where. Hang on a mo…” he moved further back to the street and saw a house. He ran up the side of the house, on some grass. Lofty followed him. The Doctor found an electrical box and opened it. “This will do. This will do so wonderfully. Come on, the steel…” He ran. Lofty watched him. The Doctor ran back to him. “Well, I’ll follow you.” Lofty nodded. At foot of the train trestle ladders and lift, Robin returned with Shane, Eli, and Matthew. She was stunned and it showed on her face. Jeremy smiled at her, “True isn’t it?” “Yes. And I don’t understand how.” “He’s an alien. The Doctor follows up on his promises. And he doesn’t lie. Well, not to people who he can trust. Not to those who are good. Like you.” “Like me? He doesn’t even know me.” “You’re a doctor. You help people. He can read that and can read you. He knows you’re a good person. And when he gets back…” A 0 “He’ll do the same for me?” “Yes,” Jeremy stated, “He probably already knows you have…you know.” “You can say it. HIV.” “Come on, up you go,” Jeremy said. Eli came up to him, “Will you thank him for me?” “You can thank him yourself,” Jeremy said gently, “He’ll be back soon.” Robin moved to him, “There’s still a lot of the kids not up there. Can I help?” “If you’d like, I’d appreciate that,” Jeremy said, wiping sweat off his brow. Eli and Shane started up the ladder. Matthew watched them go up. “Okay, you’re up next,” Jeremy pointed to Matthew, who had returned with Shane, Eli, and Robin. As Matthew hesitated, Jeremy didn’t notice and called to some of the smaller children, “Hey, you guys and girls, listen to Robin, will you?” Matthew came behind Jeremy and poked his back gently, “Hey, Jeremy?” “What? Oh,” Jeremy turned, “Up you go.” “Can I ask you something?” “Sure, what is it?” Matthew looked at Jesse, who had two young kids in his arms, one a boy and one a girl. He was carrying them over to the other train t restle leg, the only one of two that remained or was taken into this Death Zone. “Is your friend…you know, gay?” “Yeah. That bother you?” “Nope.” “Are you gay?” “Don’t know.” Matthew looked at Jeremy’s face and he smiled, “Yet.” Jeremy smiled. “How old are you?” “13.” “Ohhh. I see. Well, think about it. But to be honest, I wouldn’t think too long on it. Don’t waste time. Like I did. I mean if you are, you probably already know it fully by now. Dig deep down and find it. Or not. Say, is your grandfather Asa?” Matt’s eyes went wide, “Oh my God. Don’t tell him.” “Oh. No. I won’t,” Jeremy bent down to look into Matthew’s eyes. “I so won’t. He loves you though. I can tell that. And I think…if he…” “DON’T tell him.” “No way. That’s for you to do. If you want. And if not, that’s not his business.” Jeremy smiled. “Now up you go.” “Yeah, up and out,” Matthew smiled. Jeremy patted his back and watched him climb up the ladder. He turned to see Jesse having put the two kids on the lift with a nervous Lucinda, Dot Cotton, Pauline Fowler and Dorian Cram er Lord. Jesse turned to a little boy who was crying, “Hey little kid…” “I’m not little,” the boy was crouched down, light hair, lean body, “I’m almost nine.” He had his back to Jesse. “I’m sorry, didn’t realize you were so old,” Jesse said, feeling out of his depth. He had younger cousins and a younger brother but it was a long time, from his perspective that he saw any of them. Of course, to them, he might have just been home a few minutes ago. And this kid was British. Did that make a difference? He thought not. “And I don’t mean to interrupt your…whatever it is you’re doing…but we have to all get up there. Like…now.” “I’m not going,” the boy said. Jesse came and sat down next to him. “Why not?” “I don’t have me family here,” the boy said. “Well, what’s your name?” “Peter. Peter Beale.” Blondes named Peter. With blue eyes. Jesse thought. Troublemakers the lot of em, he thought. Even me. But he kept this all to himself. “Don’t you know any of these people?” “Yeah that rat boy, Ben,” Peter nodded as Ben climbed a ladder. Jesse looked as Ben turned from the ladder. The boy was rolly polly, wore=2 0glasses, and was a bit overweight. He stuck his tongue out at Jesse. Jesse frowned, “Oh, I see.” He moved to put his arm around Peter but thought Peter of it, “Well, Peter, if you would like,” he shrugged, “Jeremy over there and I could be your family…” Jeremy had gathered some more old people and herded them into a lift. He then started to barricade the lift with large cement blocks. “I don’t know. I guess,” Peter shrugged. “He once played Peter Pan, you know.” “Peter Pan,” Peter balked. “That’s for sissies and babies.” Call me a sissy and a baby then, Jesse thought but kept that to himself, also. “Well, then what about an adventure.” “Adventure?” “Yeah. See, there was this boat, the Doc, Jer, and I were on. It was called Poseidon.” “Oh, that was a movie or two, wasn’t it?” “Yeah,” Jesse stretched, “But not the real story. Not the real thing that happened. And I was there.” “Really?” “That Doctor’s not just an alien who stands still, you know. He travels in time and space. We can go anywhere, any time, even no time if we’d like. Fiction worlds, comic book flat worlds. Anyway, I digress. This ship…=E 2 Jesse then told a sanitized version of Irwin Allen’s THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. For effect, he pulled out a toy boat he had found and discarded nearby in the dirt. He showed it to Peter. He even turned it upside-down at the correct moment in the narrative. The way he told it everyone lived. “EVERYONE LIVED! EVERYONE LIVED!” Jesse yelled as he was done, putting an arm around Peter’s back. Peter laughed. Peter laughed, “And that fat lady saved em all?” “Yeah, nilüfer escort but it’s not really nice, calling her that. I mean she could stand to lose a few pounds.” “But did she? After she got rescued with the others?” “I supposed so. Yeah, I think she did.” Jesse thought about Shelley Winters, whom he liked after seeing that movie. He wished she were still alive in his time. Perhaps one day, he’d get to meet her if he and Jeremy resumed time traveling with the Doctor. Peter laughed. “And the priest, he saved them all, too, and he didn’t even molest the small boy, Eric whatshisname, Olsen.” Jeremy stood behind them. “If you’re done ruining the best Irwin Allen movie, I could use a hand.” “Just a hand?” Jesse turned to look up. “The boy?” Jeremy shrugged, meaning that Jesse shouldn’t make sexual references in front of the child. 0Oh, he doesn’t know what I…” “You blokes are so gay….” Peter stood up, “Don’t mind that, I don’t.” “Ladder?” Jesse pointed. “Ladder,” Peter said, and play punched Jesse’s shoulder. “Thanks, Jesse.” Jesse smiled, bit his lip, nodded, and watched Peter go to the ladder. After Peter was out of ear shot, Jesse rubbed his shoulder, “ow…” “Oh, you big baby, he’s what? Nine? Ten?” “Just nine. I think,” Jesse said, “If he’s telling the truth. We have to watch after him. None of his family is here.” “That’s like most of the kids here,” Jeremy added. “Now help me use those cinder blocks to block the lifts…” “That’s stupid. Anyone strong enough to climb up can just remove them like we did,” Jesse noted. “But it’ll take em some time,” Jeremy explained, “And that’ll give us time to come down the other way and stop them.” “Oh yeah,” Jesse conceded. Night was just around the corner as the Doctor and Lofty, the later tired, both with dirt on their faces and arms, came running up to the foot of the towers that held up the train trestle. Jeremy, Ryan Sheckler, and Jesse waited at the foot. Two other teens waited with them. Jeremy smiled at Sheckler, who had taken his shirt off and let his pants drop baggy VERY low down on his hips. So much that in fact, the upper part of his legs were shown as part of his upper body! Jeremy laughed. Sheckler shrugged, “What? It’s hot!” Jeremy shrugged, “I’m glad for the view.” “I take it you don’t mean the morning TV show.” “Hey, I’m gay. I’d not try anything with ya if you don’t want me too but I never said I wouldn’t look. Especially if you put on such a great display.” Ryan Sheckler laughed. As he strode in after the run, the Doctor puffed, “A good run, a time shape trip and a time…ahh, don’t have the time ship back yet.” He looked up, “Anyway, everyone up there?” Jeremy nodded, “Yeah, even Eli, Shane, Matt, and Robin, they got back a few minutes ago. Eli’s cured of AIDS…everyone’s up there except…” “Except for these bone heads…” Jesse added. “Shut your mouth or I’ll shut it for you, permanently,” a very muscled 17 year old said. He had a blond buzz cut, thick lips, and wore a tank top that showed his entire side bare. It also had severe cuts on the shoulders, neck, and ba ck. His very obvious chest stood out. His pecs were bulging and his nipples hard. He also had on gym shorts and sneakers. The Doctor shook his head, “We don’t have all this time for all this in fighting…YOU shut up. Who are you?” The second muscled teen, darker tanned, dark brown hair, also 17, turned to the Doctor, “I’m Jake Tyler…” “Tyler, good name that…” the Doctor smiled and shook his hand, “What’s the problem…” “DON’T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!” This new Ryan snarled. He came at the Doctor but Jake stepped in front of him. “Ry, calm down,” Jake snarled as he turned his head. “Look, Doctor, my ten year old brother is up there because…you said it’s the safest thing to do…” “I don’t think he ever said that,” Jesse said. “Getting you all in one place is the best way I can…” the Doctor blinked at the big brown eyes and the beauty mark on the very hot face. “Keep an eye on us?” Jake asked. “What’s going on?” “Where are you three from…” “Four, there’s a girl up there, too that we like…I like,” Jake said sheepishly, guessing to himself that he added that f or insecure reasons. This Doctor was hot and he could see Baja going for him so he wanted the Doctor to note that she was his. “Baja. She’s watching my little brother.” “Baja, nice name. I mean it. I really like it. Baja, Ryan, and Jake.” The Doctor turned to Jeremy and Ryan Sheckler, “These hets and their triangles. Don’t they know that three’s a very good number…” Jeremy smiled, “I like it.” Sheckler smiled, “I guess I might want to try it sometime…” “How bout tomorrow?” The Doctor cheered up. “I meant with two girls, Doc,” Sheckler smiled. “Oh. Well, then, Jeremy and Jesse’s available,” the Doctor joked. “Very funny,” Jeremy scolded. The other Ryan, Ryan McCarthy, from behind Jake snarled, “Will you fags quit playin’ with each other and with us.” He took his shirt off for effect, to show his totally muscled body, abs to die for, biceps bulging, shoulders cut and striated. Veins lined on arms, shoulders, chest. The Doctor looked at him from over Jake’s shoulder, “Jake, is it? Jake, you can let him by.” Jake shrugged, “It’s your funeral.” Lofty, on the ladder a few steps up, watched as… Ryan McCarthy rushed the Doctor, who put a hand on Ryan’s chest. Ryan grabbed the Doctor’s forearm and twisted but the Doctor moved with it and smacked Ryan’s hard abs…a ten pack and poked. Ryan folded up and the Doctor kneed him in the chest. The Doctor followed him and put a hand on his back, “It’s okay, you’ll catch your wind in a few mo’s…although since you’re mostly made of wind…you must have some to spare.” Jake smiled, “Doc, we’re from Orlando in Florida…” “THAT explains his behavior…” the Doctor pulled Ryan McCarthy up and saw big crystal blue eyes. “You’re just scared…” “I’M NOT SCARED…!!!” “Angry then!” “YOU’RE NOT MY DAD!” “No, but I’ve been before…” “WHAT? ARE YOU MOCKING ME?” Ryan turned red again and made fists again. Jeremy whispered to Jesse, “Doesn’t he look like Cam Gigandet and Jake look like that actor…what his name?” Jesse smiled and put a fist in his other hand, “Sean Faris? Yeah.” “Yeah,” Jeremy added. The Doctor smiled, “What me mock? I never mock anyone who I think is a good person…” “WHAT?” Both Jesse and Jeremy laughed out loud. “YES, YOU D O!” “Not helping, besides you have a dragon tattoo and anyone who has a dragon tattoo can’t be all bad….DAAAAA!” the Doctor turned to him and then found his hips and stomach and back in a lock hold from Ryan. Jeremy and Jesse and Sheckler rushed to help but the Doctor put his hands out to stop them, “Stay out of it!” Jake moved to help too, “Doctor, you don’t know what he can do!” “Just stay out of it!” The Doctor twisted his body, sweat on his hips making him slippery. He bent his knees and Ryan McCarthy rode with him but slipped a bit. The Doctor put his hands over Ryan’s hand locked knuckles and gave pressure point moves to both. “OW!” Ryan let go and slipped to his knees and seemed to just…go limp there, defeated. “I guess…” he puffed, “I guess the aliens win. You’re too much, too much…” Ryan hopped up onto his feet and punched the Doctor full in the face. The Doctor saw it coming at the last second and just before he was going to say something compassionate to Ryan. He turned and avoided a broken nose. He had the fist hit his left cheek. “Take that and this!” Ryan was following through with another punch. The Doctor ducked sideways and under Ryan’s arms, getting closer, so he could head butt Ryan’s chest, i n between those massive pecs. Then he punched a double punch with both fists into Ryan’s stomach. “I don’t want to fight you!” Ryan fell back and Jake stepped in between. “Doc, he can take much more than that…” The Doctor shook his head, “I know. So can I.” Jesse and Jeremy and Sheckler moved in closer, too. Jeremy looked at the cheek, “Are you okay?” “Yes, fine,” the Doctor said, “The energy should heal anything that’s broken…listen, I want the both of you to get up that ladder now and no more trouble. As soon as I can figure out exactly what’s going on and who’s coming to kill us, I’ll let everyone know and I’ll find a way to get you all back to Earth in your own time. I take it you are both from 2008?” “Yeah and…” Ryan McCarthy puffed, “Those were some great moves…” “I’ve got a hundred of them.” Jesse put a hand up, “I can…vouch for that.” “Where’d you learn them?” “Various times and places. Mars. Venus. William Tell. The Mountain Mauler, a wrestler. Jack Dempsey. Bruce.” “You mean…Bruce Lee?” “Yes,” the Doctor said impatiently. “And othe rs…We REALLY do not have time for this and if we’re to save all these people…especially the elderly and the young kids… ” The Doctor nodded to the ladder. “Let’s all get up there,” the Doctor said, “and no more funny business…” “Okay, I promise. I’ll help,” Ryan nodded. Sheckler watched the other Ryan…McCarthy, carefully. He followed Lofty up. Jake watched Ryan follow Sheckler up the ladder. The Doctor nodded, “First thing…” “Cure Robin,” Jeremy added. “Second thing,” the Doctor pointed, “Take a list down of every year, month, day, if possible of everyone. Give it to me.” “That could take all night,” Jesse moaned. “Then we’d better get started at once,” the Doctor smiled, “Come on, cheer up!” He ran, no, he hopped to the ladder rungs and jumped up to the highest one he could reach, pulled himself up and strained to keep going, his feet dangling, not being used. He was hauling himself up with just his arms doing all the work and his hands on the rungs, one over the other. Jesse sighed with admiration. Jeremy did the same. They watched his muscles bulging as he pulled himself up in that manner. Jeremy nudged Jesse out of their combined day dream and Jesse made for the ladder rungs, too.20Jeremy looked around him cautiously. Then he followed. When the Doctor reached up for the last time, for the top of the trestle was reached, a black hand gave his hand a pull up. A very tall black man pulled him bodily and helped him set down on his feet. “Whoa! Thanks!” The Doctor stated and then saw his helper. He looked him up and down. This black man was very dark but attractive. He had short hair which had very small dreadlocks in it, his shirt was off. The Doctor admired him in just one lengthy stare. He had no shirt on and had NO body fat, a long deep crevice between his pecs, bulging muscles all over. “What mon, it’s hot outside,” he laughed. “Didn’t I see you in that Slutty Summer?” “You and I had a slutty summer?” “No, the movie.” “Yeah, my bio. I’m Derek Rolley.” “Derek, glad to meet you. I’m the Doctor.” “Yes, I know. You’ve been the talk of the entire…train station…” He laughed. “Where are you from?” “I’m from Chelsea. 2007.” “New York!” The Doctor smiled, “I’m from there…well, from Long Island and from everyplace really. And no place. And Chelsea, I haven’t been there since the whole…Draft Riots thing or was it the fall o f Tammany Hall or Stonewall Riots, no that, that last one was in Greenwich Village…anyway nice to meet you, Derek, very nice, oh so very nice!” he shook Derek’s hands vigorously with both of his own. “Please forgive me this degeneration thing is so confusing and new to me. I have all of me up here,” he pointed to his own head, taking one of his hands away for a second, slapping it back down after pointing to his head, “…all of me from the present, my present and maybe even some of my future…” he was taken with Derek and rambling, “And all of the past me’s, too but in a former body…” “You’re as…as they say you are.” “And you’re awesome to look at.” Gently, Derek took the Doctor close to him and he towered over, being 6’7. He had a calm power. He whispered, “Doctor, I just want to get back to my boyfriend Peter.” “Your boyfriend’s Peter? You’re a man after my own ….peter…” “Doctor, his name.” “Yes, Peter. I’ll get you back to him, don’t you worry, hot stuff.” The Doctor took his hands back and smelled them, seductively looking at Derek as he did that. “Sorry about that. I’m also very sexual.” “I’ll say. Please, Doctor. Get me back to him.” “I will. I promise.” The Doctor patted his back and moved on. Derek watched as Jesse came up and gave him a menacing look and then a friendly faced Jeremy came up. And you can see Derek and Peter here: vie/ On the top of the trestle, the Doctor smiled at a little blond girl who was crying into a yellow Pikachu doll. He had been making sure everyone was staying on the safest part of the metallic and wooden tracks of the trestle, and the youngest ones on the sides, where it was the safest. “Little girl, why are you crying?” “He…he…dead.” She had long blond hair and she was three years old. “Where are your parents?” “Don’t know. They are home.” “Who’s watching you?” Lily Snyder came forward, “We are. Lucinda and I. That’s my mother.” “Oh, so sorry,” the Doctor sighed. “Can I help?” Lily shrugged. “She won’t come sit with us.” “Hmmm,” the Doctor nodded to Lily and then moved down to the little girl. “Wat’s your name, little one?” Lily watched. The girl peeked up from the top of the Pikachu’s head. “Nikki.” “Well, Nikki. Let me take=2 0a look, will you?” She put her eyes down into the head again. “I think maybe he’s not dead, you know? Or maybe, just maybe…if you try real hard. It might give me the power to make him…well, better.” “From dead?” “From dead. Or maybe just from…let me see, huh? Nikki turned the doll toward him. Carefully the Doctor took the sonic screwdriver out from his back pocket. Ryan McCarthy, Jake and Charlie Tyler, and Baja watched him from afar. He opened the battery case in the back of Pikkachu. He used the sonic screwdriver to illuminate it and then set it to charge the batteries. He closed the case. “Kiss em will you? Give him a great big wet one for me. That’ll fix the whole thing, then.” Nikki kissed him and the ears moved and they all heard, “PIKKA…” Everyone who watched, cheered. “There he goes!” The Doctor sat back on his butt, his hands behind him now. Nikki’s tears dried up, she kissed the Doctor next. “Thank you!” “If he ever gets like that again, give me a holler, will ya?” She shook her head. She moved her hand to the Doctor’s chin, “A bit of beard…like Santa…but not as much.” “I have no beard you rebellious girl.” He laughed. “As for Pikkachu, when you get back on Earth, tell your mom to change his batteries. She’ll do it, won’t she?” “My mom has before…” “You will see her very soon,” the Doctor smiled and touched her chin. “Now won’t you go sit with the nice lady Lily with her uhm, nice mum there?” Lily, who had been standing over them, put her arms out. Nikki stood up and came Lily. Lily picked her up. “Come on.” “Thanks,” the Doctor smiled, “Take good care of her.” “He’s good with kids, how nice,” Baja said. Ryan McCarthy laughed, “He’s gay, Baja.” “All the Time Lords ride the other bus,” she sighed. “He likes your name,” Charlie piped up. Jake laughed, “How’d you find that out?” “He told me.” “Did he, really,” Jake snarled. “Not liking as much now are you?” Ryan laughed. “No.” Jake laughed, “Maybe, I dunno. He’s sorta…grows on you…” The Doctor met almost all the kidnapped people. The Doctor met people from Coronation Street. “Doctor, I’m Craig Harris, anything I can do?” The 15 year old goth kid shook the Doctor’s ha nd. He had dark eyes, flat hair, and mascara on. He had on an open leather jacket, black, leather pants, also black. His jacket was open, revealing his muscled smooth flesh. “I’ll let you know,” the Doctor said, taking his hand back. “Ahh, you didn’t mean to help, did you? You’re…you a bit young, aren’t you?” “I did mean to help.” He had an Australian accent. “Ahh, never mind then. I’ll let you know. Either way, both ways…and I’ll shut up now.” “I like aliens.” Craig smiled. “Yeah, me, too and all,” a boy came forward, “I’m David Platt, sir.” He had ripped jeans on, wild hair, and an open sweatshirt revealing his flat, smooth belly. He wore a chain with a red horn on it around his neck. “Oh just Doctor, will do,” the Doctor pat the boy’s head, “I’ll let you both know.” Jeremy came in between them, “Doctor, excuse me, kid.” David, also blond, swooned, “T’is okay.” “Doctor, a word,” Jeremy said calmly. “Surely,” the Doctor smiled, “Not like I’m busy meeting my fans or anything.” “Very funny,” Jeremy pulled the Doctor’s upper arm and then squeeze d on it again, “WOhhh.” He felt it again. “That arm’s hot.” “I know,” the Doctor said, matter of factly, “What’s going on?” “Jesse and I have noticed that…well, not only is your house from Long Island here but …haven’t you noticed?” The Doctor pointed toward the movie theatre, “The cinema, yeah. Nice old style cinema. Bet it’s from…” “Not that!” “What would they be doing inside the pterodactyl.” Jeremy, agitated, gasped, “What?” “Didn’t you want to know about Nights in Rodan?” “NO!” “Oh, then what?” “Gosh, you’re thick sometimes.” Jeremy whispered, “Haven’t you noticed that there’re many gay guys here.” “Yeah, take advantage of that later if there’s time which there won’t be.” “Doctor,” Jeremy chided, this time impatiently, “Don’t you think that’s just a little bit too much of a coincidence?” “You mean that I’m…and they’re…” “Yeah, and Jesse and I just met two gay guys from Holy Oaks. It’s like…like someone’s trying to tell you something or teach you20something.” “The Time Lords!” The Doctor raised a fist to the air, “Fuck faces. I’ll be what I am. I am what I am.” A face that the Doctor seemed to know came up to him. “I’m Todd.” “I could’ve sworn you’re Adam. Adam Mitchell!” The Doctor smiled. “I think I know why you sent that info home from the future.” “Oi?” Todd looked at Jeremy, “What’s he on about?” “You look like somebody he used to know.” Jeremy shook his head, “It’s happening a lot to us today.” “Better not see my brother in law,” Todd said, “You’re a dead ringer for him. Well, about ten years ago…” “Nick’s the name,” Nick came to them and shook the Doctor’s hand. “Wow,” Jeremy stated, “You do look like the Doctor…this Doctor.” “Handsome bloke,” the Doctor smiled as he shook the Australian’s hand. “Sorry, Doctor, I don’t…as my brother in law will tell ya, swing that way,” Nick said. “It’s okay, seems there’s a lot of us about up here,” the Doctor said, “No time for that stuff now anyways.” “That’s0 a new one for us,” Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “He does though.” Nick said, and turned to leave. “He…I’m sorry about him,” Todd shrugged, “He…he’s not used to the whole gay thing…” “Give him time,” the Doctor smiled and moved on. The Doctor also met people from Grange Hill, Emmerdale Farm, Shortland Street, Byker Grove, Shreveport in Louisiana, Sunset Beach in California, Ballykissangel in Killorglin, County Kerry in Ireland and various other places all over the Earth. He made friends with skateboarders, a motorcycle gang member, a life guard, jocks, and others. Lockie Leonard, a freckle faced, blue eyed Australian 14 year old surfer kid, came over to the Doctor. He wore only a blue speedo and held a surf board. The Doctor felt the surf board. “This could come in handy.” Bright blond haired Chris Quinn, a 19 year old, who looked like an older version of Lockie but much more muscular, asked, “Hey Doc, wanna settle a righteous dispute my bud Lockie and I having about ya?” “What about me?” The Doctor tried to feel his lapels up but realized he only had bare nipples so he felt those instead. “Yeah,” Lockie said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Go ahead,” he nudged his shoulder into the much taller Chris’s=2 0back. “Go ahead ask him.” “Are you a beggar?” “NO, I AM NOT!” The Doctor yelled. Then calmed down, “Channeled my first self there, for a sec. Part of my being degenerative. No, I do nothing of the kind, young men.” “Then why are you dressed like that?” Chris asked, flexing his abs. The Doctor leaned in on Chris and whispered, “Cause I’m gay.” “Oh, I get that,” Chris said. “Told you.” He also met Todd Landers of Ramsay Street in Australia. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you about the whole, can you teleport thing. You look like one of the Tomorrow People. Listen to me, stay away from crowded intersections and busy highways.” He turned to Todd, “That reminds me.” türbanlı escort He found the boy called Ashley. “Ash…” “It’s Ashley.” “Ashley,” he put his hand on the boy’s shoulder but the boy shrugged it off, nearly tipping the Doctor over. “Ashley, listen to me. If you never do anything anyone has ever asked you, do this: stay away from motorbikes in future.” Ash just stared at him. “Okay?” “Okay!.” “I mean it.” “I guess so! You seem to know the future.” “Sometimes I do. And the past. But if you want to live…stay away from motorbikes.” The Doctor patted his shoulder. “Don’t be like your dad. He’ll be the death of you, if you do.” He strode off, leaving Ashley angry again. Jesse, next to Jeremy, went wide eyed, “He has such a way with the kids.” Once he met everyone, the Doctor stood in the middle of the train platform, the whole thing looking odd as the tracks lead to no where now, just dangled off into the air. “Now then…who wants to start the story night?” He went to the middle of the platform and used the sonic screwdriver to light up a fire inside a small drum some of the lads brought up. “Gather round, all. Listen to the story of my companion Jesse…” Asa’s eyes went squinty. He was starting to get it. “Companion?” “Great, put us on the spot, won’t you!” Jeremy said. Jesse nudged into him, “Tell them about the time you killed a boar.” Jeremy eyed him up, “I never killed a bore…” Then he stared into Jesse’s eyes, “But I’m about to.” Jesse chuckled and stood back. Then he pointed at Jeremy with both hands, pointer fingers out, “YOU’RE ON!” As Jesse watched with great a musement Jeremy squirmed through a sanitized version of THE TOWERING INFERNO, making Paul Newman the sole hero and making it so that everyone lived. He stood at the end of his story and raised his hands, “EVERYONE LIVED, KIDS! EVERYONE LIVED!” Having sat down with the others through the middle of the story, Jesse whispered, “Aww, sit down you big faggot…” Next to Jesse, Ryan Sheckler laughed. Asa heard this and pursed his lips together. “Rosey,” the Doctor added. “My turn, I think.” He began to tell this story. “I was on this planet, no, I wasn’t. Ole Asa there…” Asa smiled a fake smile, to placate the others. He was beginning to realize something. “It was the town of Yippie, Texas, it was. I think. Turn of the century or so. There was fuedin and fussin all about buzzards.” Lucinda, a child on her lap, looked up, incredulous, “Buzzards?” “An unbelievable subject. Buzzards. Do you believe it?” Lucinda: No. “One half of the town they believed the buzzards would locate their food by sight. The other half of the town believed the buzzards would fly around and locate their food by smell…” Craig Dixon, sitting with others, whispered, “I think the whole thing smells…” “I think you got so mething there.” The Doctor smiled, “Now, the town was shooting and fightin over this…” Dot asked, “How could they prove it?” “That’s a good point. Now, the mayor of the town of Yippie �”he was just as much enthused as the rest of the townsfolks. So he went and got himself a rifle and saw a steer and shot and killed it. So he skinned the hide off it.” The Doctor smiled. Pauline asked, “What did they do with the carcass?” “Oh, they just kicked it around town until it lost all its friends,” the Doctor joked. “Now, the hide and the carcass, they took the carcass and put it up on a high hill and they put a little sand over it.” “Ohh, then no one could see it!” Lily added. “That was the idea. To fool the buzzard. The tricky ole buzzard. And with the hide, they stuffed it and put it on another hill in plain sight of everyone so the buzzard could see it.” “Oh, I can just see it,” Lucinda said, skeptically, “People wondering and betting to see if the buzzard went to that hill or the one where the carcass was buried.” “I’d have bet on the hill with the hide in plain view,” Blake Carrington man said. “I’ve got a hundred on me that says you’re wrong,” Lily laughed . “I’d like to have a bet like that, too,” Lucinda laughed. Blake nodded and laughed, “You’ve got it.” “What am I? An orphan?” Dorian asked, “50 that says you’re wrong.” “Good, I love sucker money. I’ll put it on a charity,” Blake said, “I’ve got enough of my own.” Sheckler said to the Doctor, “I’ll take a gold nugget from your old ship…” “Ryan!” Jesse and Jeremy gasped. “Oh, I’m just kiddin. He has no gold. Look at him, he’s poor.” The Doctor gasped, “I’m what?” “Yeah, besides, I’d be bettin against the guy who’s the only one who knows how the answer to the whole story and how it ends.” The Doctor was faking being hurt. “Story? This is no story. This is history.” The others asked for the Doctor to continue. They could hardly wait for it to be told. “Yes, please, I can’t take the excitement any longer,” Lily joked. “Me, too,” Lucinda rolled her eyes. “I will hold up the floor or actually, the whole platform from here on in. Do not interrupt me again,” the Doctor laughed, “Now, we’re gonna get to the very exciting part of the story because this town of Yippie, was betting more money than they even had in the town so that they had to go to the next town over, the town of Quoma Quoma to being the money in by stagecoach to bet more money.” The Doctor, previously, having told the story by looking at everyone, looked into the sky, “One day the scout was up there. And he stayed up there for 24 hours. Finally, the dawn came. Not a word of the buzzards. It looked like the buzzards knew what was in the townspeople’s minds! Trying to outsmart the townspeople mind you!” The Doctor looked at everyone again and put his finger up in the air, “…the townspeople of Yippie! Quoma Quoma Huoma where they got the rest of the dough from. Then suddenly in the skies,” he looked skyward again, “Way way off in the skies…the scout saw little specks flittering and a flutterin and he yelled the buzzards are coming, the buzzards are coming. Everybody got up. Everybody got up on top of the houses. The hotels. The salons. All over Yippie people were standing up on top of everything they could stand on. To see the buzzards flying closer and closer and closer to the town.” Everyone was calling out, “Yes, yes?” “The buzzards are really close and close and down onto the dead animal the buzzards are ready to go!” “Tell us!” “Yes, please, please, which hill did they go to?” Dorian=2 0asked. The Doctor was sheepish all of a sudden. “Well, to tell you the truth, I really don’t know. I had to leave town before the buzzards got there.” Jeremy came out of the crowd and pushed him. Then he laughed and hugged him. This made Asa’s face turn red as he stewed over the same sex touching. The Doctor laughed, “Sorry…” Lily nodded, “Oh really, Doctor!” Dorian frowned. Lucinda laughed. Blake laughed, “Doctor! I think I’ll give the moneys to charity just the same.” “There’s the spirit! The spirit of the buzzards!” The Doctor jumped. “Where’d he get that from?” Matthew asked Jeremy. “Abbott and Costello, I think.” Matthew smiled, “Abbott and Costello, the classic comedians?” “Yeah I saw that one. Abbott and Costello. Second season no less.” “I think I”ll make myself scarce now.” The Doctor said, “Someone else wanna go?” Others got up to tell their stories. The Doctor was about to move on when he saw Nikki, still clutching to Pikkachu, move over to Jesse and sit in his lap. “Doctor, tell me about him.” “Where do I begin? He’s an alien.” “An alien?=2 0Like from outer space? Then why does he wear those funny clothes?” The Doctor leaned on a guard rail, chuckling to himself, “Silly girl.” He had gone off to a secluded section of the platform and used his telescope. Lucinda had noticed him. Eventually, when the first rays of sunlight came up, and the children were mostly asleep, she snuck away to go talk to him. The Doctor had his telescope again and was looking across the desert. “Oh, only 12. That’s a bit disappointing. If not boring.” He saw 12 Daleks coming across the desert. “Sink plungers, egg beaters and all.” He let the scope pan over each one. “Oh, how nice, all the colors of the rainbow. Silver. Tan. Standard gray. Black. White. Red. Oh my. Gold. All six feet tall. Must be ones with forcefields. How not nice. Green. Blue. Cor.” He moved the scope, “More? Movement over here. That’s…oh dear.” Skinless humanoids, over 6 feet tall, the lead one and two others seven feet tall. Wearing mantles of bone for face masks and clasps for red capes. Red pants. Red robes. “Bad teeth still? My my, they should see a dentist, not just a doctor.” He noticed the whips and swords. “Male this time. And 20. That’s more of a challenge.” He shifted back and forth, “12 Daleks. 20 Sycorax. Ahhh, it evens out.” He looked again and saw the Sycorax chanting20to impress themselves, to drive themselves into a frenzy of confidence. “Same as ever.” He rolled his eyes, which made them hurt as one was still looking through the scope. He moved the scope further back, “Oh what’s that? Now we’re really in trouble.” He viewed ten Sontarans, “Maybe shorter than the other two groups but huh, four feet of quick death. That’s what I call a real challenge. We are in for it. I don’t know if everyone’s gonna make it out alive. Everyone lives is going to be a tall order this time. I’m not even sure if anyone will live…” “Doctor,” Lucinda asked, putting her hand on his bare shoulder, “Oooo.” “Yes, mame?” “I didn’t want to sneak up on you,” she said. “Very few can, these days. What’s on your mind, fine lady?” “Such a gentleman,” she smiled, “Doctor, is it safe up here? Are we safe up here?” “Ohh, we’re safe…up here.” The Doctor watched the three groups, moving the scope back and forth. What he didn’t realize was that Asa followed Lucinda and was even now, from afar, aiming a revolver at his head! TO BE CONTINUED… AND IN FUTURE WEEKS… 0 PAUL TELFER DOCTOR Jesse: Who are you? Alex: Rider, Alex Rider, nice to meet you. (Puts his hand out to Jesse, who looks at Jeremy and winks and shakes Alex’s hand) Jesse: Very nice to meet you. Very very nice… Jeremy: Yeah, me too. Alex: You see, there’s this guy named Blofeld, have you heard of him? Doctor: Yeah, I’ve heard of him once or twice. Alex: Well, he’s got a fleet of helicopters… Jesse: (laughs) Helicopters? That’s pretty small scale stuff, isn’t it? Alex: Each one is loaded with a bomb and there’re about 100 of them… Doctor: Sort of a large small scale invasion… Jesse: Or a small large scale one… Jeremy: K9, can you get them all? K9 (flying and shooting helicopters): Yes Master. Jeremy: DO it! (running on a beach with Alex Rider, both in skimpy bathing suits) K9: Affirmative Master, already doing so! Alex: (running) I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Jeremy: Why not? Alex: Each one will implode when they hit the water!!! Jeremy and he look at each other and both say, “RUN!” They run and the helicopters all go down and cause one giant explosion of water and fire. It heads at them. Doctor: Nice to meet you, Mister Bond. James Bond: You may call me James, Doctor. Jesse: You two know each other? Doctor: Bond, James, Bond is really a Time Lord. Jesse: (Shrug ging) Oh, figured that. There’s been what, 7 of him or so. Next thing I know you’ll tell me Tarzan was one too. Doctor: Hmm, mmm. A female spy has Jeremy tied up and he’s naked. She has him in a chair and is wrapping her legs around his torso. He leans back and watches her without interest. She says, “You have a rising interest don’t you? We can do this the hard way…as I see you …” “I’m thinking of my friends He Jesse and Alex.” “…or the …” He head butts her and she falls down. Her knife falls out of her hand and he grabs it in his teeth. He turns his head and drops it behind him to his hands, “Gee, I wonder what the other way was?” Alex is between Jeremy and Jesse, “Guys, I’m not…” Jesse kisses him from behind and licks his neck. Jeremy does the same from the front and puts his hands up his shirt. “I guess this one time I could be…or maybe a few more times…” Jesse: (he’s 9 years old now) Doctor, look at what your experiments have done to me! I’m nine years old again! Doctor (pats Jesse’s head): But a very cute nine year old… Jesse: Doctor, turn me back. I want me back in my body. I want you back in my body. (runs outside, a 1925 car comes at him in a road) Doctor: It8 0s 1925 and the Zinoviev Letter could cause a major war between Russia and the British Isles…(looks suspiciously at the Nick Hoult Master). Nick Hoult Master: Doctor, are you accusing me? Doctor: Of trying to subvert history, Naw, silly of me isn’t it? Master: I’ve given that up… Doctor: Oh, for lent? Master: His name is Teddy…you’ve met.. Teddy: Yea, hiya Doc, new face and bod, huh, very nice anyhows…I can testify he’s not into that shit anymore… Two men grab Jesse and throw into the back of a car and pull off. In the back of the car, Nine year old Jesse says, “Look, guys, I’m not a big money maker…I mean my voice hasn’t even changed yet, you can’t really get more than a million…” shuts his eyes realizing that’s a lot of money… “We heard you all talking on the road…we know in the future you’re gonna be a star…” “I’m gonna be a moon to the two of you in a minute, let me go!” “Hey if the singing career doesn’t pull off…we can always try Hal Roach Studios…” At Hal Roach studios, Jesse says HI to the Little Rascals, including Spankie and Scottie. “Hey Scottie, I always thought you were the cutest thing!” Later they are on the beach near a carnival, Jesse is near Scottie on a blanket and S cottie keeps saying NO to Jesse. “Oh just kiss him so we can all get some sleep,” Spankie says. Hal Roach: He’s just too cute, we can’t really use him. We already have cute with Scottie and Spankie and frankly, we don’t really need a singer for this series. Jesse: I’ll say, have you heard Alfalfa sing? “Who’s Alfalda?” In the TARDIS, the Master kisses Teddy and pats his arm patronizingly. Teddy: But I want to help, too. Master: Listen, you just stay in here where it’s safe and …and I don’t know, start composing another song if you will. (kisses Ted’s cheek and runs out after the Doctor) Teddy: (steaming) I’ll show him. I want to help. (to Jeremy) You understand that, don’t you? Jeremy (pats him): He just doesn’t want you to get hurt, that’s all. Teddy: But the Doctor lets you and Jesse go out and help him and have adventures. Isn’t he afraid you’ll get hurt or…or killed? Jeremy: It’s…It’s different with the Doctor and me and Jesse. The three of us, we’ve all been through quite a lot together. Teddy: He just doesn’t trust me. Jeremy: I’m sure it’s not that. The Doctor is being chased up the Brooklyn Bridge with the letter. He puts it in his mouth. Russians come up on one side with guns , firing. NY Police come up the other side, firing. A British spy and killer is in the hot air balloon coming up at the Doctor. As the Doctor climbs up the bridge rigging, he starts to take his clothes off. He drops his tie and Jeremy catches it. Jeremy looks up, The Master holds him. The Doctor jumps off the bridge and dives head first down into the Hudson River. Master (holding onto a distraught Jeremy) No one could have survived that fall, no one, not even him! Jeremy: (shakes head, tears coming out of his eyes) No… Jesse: So Doc, was some letter more important than I was? Doctor: Nope. Jesse: The spirals of time and history then, more important then me? Doctor: I…I think I have to turn you back now …you’re even more precocious as a nine year old than as a… Jesse: Just do it. Doctor: You know, at any age, you’re more important than all of time. I’d let it all go to hell in a hand basket if I didn’t think you could take care of yourself, even as a nine year old. Jesse: (smiles, winks) Doctor: I think it’s about 1981…or maybe it’s 1918? Boys, have you gone out already? But the year! (runs out) Jesse: Oh my God, it’s king of the jungle! Jeremy: You Tarzan? Jai: (up on a tree branch with Cheetah) No, my name’s Jai. I’m Tarzan’s ward…I’m now king of the jungle …or I try to be… Jesse: Wha tever you be, you be HOT! Jeremy: this is our friend Tom. Jesse: Tom, it’s been a long time. How’s Adam and the Prof? Tom: Good. But I think these guys here, they found a city, a lost city. Jai: They can never get to it. Whoever finds it, will die. Unless they’re gay. Jesse: Well, then we’re okay then. Tom: Speak for yourself. Jeremy: Well, we’ll see about that. Jesse: What about Tom being gay. Jeremy: No, the men finding the city. Tom: They can’t find it. They just want the gold there. Jai, Jeremy, Jesse and Tom cross a dirt bridge that drops some dirt below it. To a ravine far below. On a cliff, one of the safari men covers Tom with his body and gets hit with a spear in the back. Other men fall off the cliff side. “We are a city of lost men. No heteros must be allowed to find our base. You shall all stay here.: Jai swings in on a vine, “I challenge you for the right of leadership!” Jeremy: Jai, no, that means you can never leave here! Jai: But my first ruling will be that you three can. Bud: Flipper! Sandy: Flipper’s fine I’m sure. Jeremy and Jesse come up from the water. Jesse: Hey, you’re fine! Sandy: You two are fine yourself, what the hell are you mermen? Jesse: I wish. I’d rub my tail on you two. Sandy: You still can…(Winks) Jesse: (wearing a shirt that says FUCK LUCY, I LOVE ETHEL with a big picture of Ethel on the t shirt smiling) and short shorts comes out, “How’d I look?” “Shark!” Jeremy swims from one. Flipper knocks into a shark. Bud: (gets onto the dock) at least they can’t get us on land! I mean sharks don’t have legs. Sandy: Look again, Bud! (points) Bud, Sandy, Jesse, and Jeremy see figures coming out the water from the dock. Rising from the ocean are octopus creatures, crab men, lobster men, and sharkmen rising up. A shark man roars and his feet crash onto the dock, knocking the wood postings down. Jeremy: RUN! (the four run as the dock is destroyed by shark men trying to get up onto the dock!) Sandy fires a fire extinguisher at two octopus men. Bud shoots a net gun at another one. Giant octopus arms rise up from the swamp and reach for them. Doctor: Okay, how do we stop that!? Jesse: You’re asking us. NOW I’m worried! The Doctor is in a small wooden boat and heading right at the octo giant. It fills the window. Ranger Rick flies a plane down at it. Doctor: It’s 1849. Ahh, I remember it well, the pioneer road to a good life. Jeremy: Oh, you show off, you were never part of a wagon train…were you? A blond boy is on stake, his white shirt torn open and ripped, his hands tied up and over his head and behind his pole. “I’m Jamie Macpheeters, can you please help me get away from these injuns? They’re gonna strip me and make me walk around my own intestines.” Jesse: As much as I’d like to see that, yeah, I’ll help ya! (kisses him on the lips) Indians come running after them. More Indians come from over the hill. Jamie: We’re caught in between them! Doctor: Ahh, 1883 and… Albert: Hello, I’m Dr. Albert Ingalls… Jesse (shakes his hand): You’re young… Jeremy: (pulls Jesse’s hand away from Albert’s and shakes Albert’s hand) He means aren’t you a little young for a doctor? Albert: I’ve found a cure for cancer… Vandals smash up Albert’s equipment. A test tube goes flying through the air. A hand catches it and the Doctor smiles, “Hello, I’m the Doctor and this is yours is it?” Albert: I’ve got that stuff all over my hands, they’re all red… Jesse: You could say that you got a red hand, gang.. Albert: What? Jeremy: Wow, you’re really smart. You must have been a whiz kid… Albert: What’s that mean? Jeremy: That you’re really really smart. Jesse: Important question is are you 18? Al bert: Yeah. Jesse: Good, then I can do this. (reaches down Albert’s loose pants and grabs his dick) Albert: the first thing I have to do is cure myself. Doctor: Albert was supposed to die, Jesse, Jeremy. Jeremy: No. Jesse: NO way. Doctor: I’m afraid… Jeremy: No way, we’re not going to permit it, no matter what you say. Jesse: Seconded… Doctor: Okay…(sighs) Oh my God… Jesse: What? Doctor: He has a son in 1888, named Albert Ingalls. A great man. There’s a crater on the moon named after him. Jesse: I have one like that named after you on my moon. Doctor: He was a leader in the telescope-ing community in 20s through the mid 50s. He started the Amateur Scientist Column in Scientific American in 1928. Jesse: Thrilling, can I fuck him now? Doctor: The son? We’ll have to skip ahead in time to… Jesse: The father! And you of course (smiles up to the Doctor)

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