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Subject: Devyn’s Struggle V2 51 This is a fictional story involving sexual acts between two or more men. If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental. This story is the property of the author and no copying or posting to any other website is permitted without the author’s written consent. Please help keep Nifty going by making a donation to the awesome fty/donate.html To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture. Thomas Paine Thanks for reading and for the feedback. I’ll be looking forward to more feedback. Please send the comments to me at keith.96@att. Devyn’s Struggle V2 Chapter 51 By the next morning, Devyn and Dewayne’s altercation was all over the school. It had also been blown way out of proportion to all reality. One rumor had Devyn beating Dewayne to a bloody mess and Dewayne being sent to the hospital and was still in intensive care. The other rumor had Devyn being arrested for assaulting DeWayne. “Where do people get this crap?” Sam asked as he was joining Julie, Charlie, Stacy, and Devyn for lunch. “You do not look like you were beaten to within an inch of your life and you also do not appear to be in jail.” “Everyone talks and no one gets a thing right,” Stacy said. “Devyn is a hero,” Julie said, as she squeezed Devyn’s arm. “Dewayne got exactly what he deserved.” “Sounds like he didn’t get enough of what he deserves,” Sam said. Devyn spotted Terry heading towards their table. Devyn could tell that the other boy was upset. “What the fuck did you do to Dewayne?” Terry demanded. “Look Terry,” Devyn said. “I didn’t do anything to him. He started the whole thing.” “He’s in jail,” Terry said. “You got him busted. You fucking got him arrested!” “I had nothing to do with him being arrested. He did that to himself. He was on something last night and he had the shit with him when he got arrested.” “Stay away from us,” Terry said. “Stay away or else I’ll beat the shit out of you myself.” Terry turned his back on the table and stomped away before anyone could say anything. “He’s off his meds,” Sam said. “Dewayne is his best friend,” Devyn said. “He is looking for someone to blame.” “You are too damn forgiving,” Sam said. “Get pissed off. Be mad. Be angry don’t be so fucking nice.” “Sam is right,” Julie said. “They have all been complete assholes to you. You have every right to be pissed at them.” “I am pissed at Dewayne,” Devyn said. “Along with Dale and a few others. Terry is different. I think he would be okay if he could break away from them.” “Why are you so understanding?” Charlie asked. “I have been there,” Devyn said. “I have been under someone else’s influence. Terry has no one else. Besides Dewayne, who is he friends with?” “Um, well no one,” Sam said. “Right,” Devyn said. “Dewayne found someone that was weak. He found someone he could bully. Terry was looking for a friend and Dewayne was looking for a side kick.” “At some point Terry has to take responsibility for his actions,” Stacy said. “He should know what is right and wrong and the way he has treated you is wrong.” “I had hoped that Terry could be a better friend,” Devyn said. “I’m just not going to blame him for Dewayne or Dale’s actions.” Devyn had almost mentioned Howard twice but avoided it. He did not want to drag Charlie’s brother into it. “That is right you cannot blame him for someone else’s actions but you know that people must take responsibility for their own actions. Howa…” Devyn realized where Julie was going and cut her off. “Let’s just not talk about this. There must be something else going on.” Devyn shot Julie a look and gave her the briefest of nods. Julie sighed and let the subject drop. She could tell that Devyn was not wanting to have Charlie’s brother mixed up in this. “You need to stand up for yourself,” Stacy said. “You need to make them see the shit they have been doing to you is not right.” “I do stand up for myself,” Devyn said. “Look what is this, picking on Devyn day? I did not get the memo so let’s just drop it.” The bell rang then and they headed off in their different directions. Julie and Devyn went to Algebra. “You aren’t going to tell Charlie his brother was involved.” She said it as a statement and not a question. “He just spouted some shit,” Devyn said. “The rest was Dewayne.” “He did more than just throw words at you,” Julie pointed out. “He threw several punches.” “I blocked them. They didn’t even hurt. In fact, if you could leave that part out if Lee comes to talk to you again…um, that would be good.” “Good for who?” “Sam and Charlie are my best friends. I don’t want to mess that up by getting Howard into trouble. He really did not do anything.” “You aren’t going to mess that up. I’m not sure Sam ever liked Howard and Charlie should know what a jerk his brother is.” “It’s better if we just let it go so no one gets hurt.” Julie frowned. “This is what I mean. You protect others and injure yourself.” “I’m fine,” Devyn said. “Don’t worry about me.” “Someone needs to,” Julie said. “Just please keep Howard out of that mess last night. If Lee asks you, just say he spouted some shit. That is all we need to tell him.” They reached their class before Julie could answer. She might have agreed or argued more but there was someone waiting on them as they approached the class. “Hi guys,” Danny said. “Oh Danny,” Julie said. “I completely forgot.” “You didn’t ask him?” Danny asked. “No,” Julie said. “We started talking about other stuff and I forgot.” “Ask me what?” Devyn asked, as he was looking from Julie to Danny. Devyn was sure hoping that Julie was not trying to fix him up with someone. Danny was an all-right guy. He had never been anything but nice to Devyn since Devyn started school last Year. He was even a good-looking guy with his reddish-brown hair, fair complexion, and soft green eyes. He was a couple inches shorter than Devyn with a stocky build but it was all muscle. The guy worked out a lot and Devyn had heard Danny was planning to be in the marines when he graduated. “Danny needs help with Algebra,” Julie explained. “I was helping him in study hall this morning and told him what a great math guy you are.” Devyn could relax a bit with Julie’s explanation. He was glad that he was not being fixed up with someone. Although it would have been nice to know there was another gay kid in school besides just himself and Charlie. “Oh, I don’t know if I’m as good at math as Julie believes but I’d be happy to help you, Danny.” “Great,” Danny said. “Do you think you could tonight? We have that quiz coming up and I really need to do better on this one.” “Um, I guess so.” “I could come out after dinner,” Danny said. “Or I could give you a ride home after school. You still ride the bus, right?” “I do,” Devyn confirmed. “I usually ride home with my little brother.” Now that Joe was adopting both him and Travis, there was no doubt that the two were brothers. They really did not need the court to make it official. In every way that mattered the two were brothers. “He’s deaf and…” Danny held up a hand. “We can pick him up too. That isn’t a problem.” “Then sure,” Devyn said. “Thanks man,” Danny said, patting Devyn’s arm. “I appreciate it.” Julie and Devyn watched Danny go into the classroom. “He’s cute you know,” Julie said, taking Devyn’s arm. “He’s not my type,” Devyn said. If Devyn did not have a relationship with Charlie, Danny might be his type. He was cute and friendly and it looked like he had a nice body under the loose-fitting clothes. “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” Julie sighed. “He does. I just want you to have someone.” “That is sweet of you but I’m doing fine.” They went into the classroom and took their seats. Devyn wondered how he was going to stop Julie from trying to fix him up. After the last bell Devyn was on his way to the student parking lot when Dale blindsided him. He was pushed up against the brick wall of the building. “What the fuck fag,” Dale said. “Let go,” Devyn said and pushed Dale back. “What the fuck did you do to Dewayne?” Dale demanded. “Dewayne did it to himself,” Devyn said and forcefully pushed past Dale. “No, it’s your fucking fault. You fucking fag. You set him up with that fucking cock sucking pig.” Devyn could tell that Dale was no friend to Lee. Of course, `pig’ was the nicest term Devyn had heard Dale use, well except for the cock sucking part. “I did nothing,” Devyn said, dodging the other boy who rushed him. “I am doing nothing now. Just leave me the fuck alone.” Devyn spotted Danny and headed towards Danny’s car. “Hi Devyn,” Danny greeted as Devyn caught up to him. “Thanks again for…” Danny’s words were cut off by Dale. “Fucking faggot,” Dale said, as he was grabbing Devyn by the shirt. “Let go,” Devyn said, turning to push Dale off him again. “Back off,” Danny said, getting between Devyn and Dale. “You hanging out with faggots now?” Dale asked. “Who I hang out with is none of your business,” Danny said. “Now back off before you do something that you are going to regret.” “Fag lover,” Dale spat. Dale might have been taller than Danny but Danny was well muscled. “I said to go!” Danny pushed Dale at the same time he was slipping a foot behind the other boy and Dale dropped to the ground. He looked surprised by the ease at which Danny had knocked him down. Dale was looking up into the flashing anger of Danny’s green eyes. “I said to go before you get really hurt.” Dale scooted back and then jumped to his feet. “I’ll get you fag boy when your boyfriend isn’t around to protect you.” Dale backed away and then turned and headed to his own car. “Sorry about that,” Devyn said. “If you don’t want…” “Not your fault,” Danny said. “And I still need help with math. Unless…” “Hey, I’m fine helping,” Devyn said. “I just don’t want people to hassle you.” “Fuck that,” Danny said. “My girlfriend knows I am straight and that is what matters. Fuck the rest.” Danny was to his side of the car now. “Go on and get in.” Devyn climbed into Danny’s car. “Thanks,” Devyn said. They drove to the elementary school. Devyn found Travis before he got on the bus. Since the teacher already knew Devyn and knew he had written permission to take Travis, she allowed bursa escort Travis to go with Devyn. “This is Danny,” Devyn signed to Travis as they got into his car. “He’s going to come home and do homework with us.” “Hi kid,” Danny said. “Um, should I talk or what?” “Just talk like you normally do,” Devyn said. “I’ll sign to Travis.” “You can do it that fast?” Danny asked. “Yeah,” Devyn said. “I have been doing it every day. You get better fast that way.” “I guess that is true.” Danny pulled out of the parking lot and turned towards the farm. “You know the way to my house?” Devyn asked. “Of course, it is a small town after all. Plus, I have worked out there some for Joe. You know, helping him with the cows and putting up hay. He’s a cool guy. You know Joe and my dad were friends.” “Um, no I didn’t know they were friends. The only one that has been out is Lee. He helps a lot.” “Lee’s a good guy. He was friends with my dad too.” “Is your dad not around?” Devyn did not want to pry too much but he was also curious. Devyn knew Joe and Lee were close but Joe never really mentioned any other close friends. “Um, my dad was in the marines,” Danny said. “He got killed on his last deployment when I was nine.” “Oh, shit Danny,” Devyn said. “I’m sorry.” “You didn’t know,” Danny said. “It still hurts sometimes. Joe was great to me then. He went to my ball games, he helped me improve my pitching arm. Hell, he taught me to drive. He kind of became a dad. There was a time when I hoped he and my mom would just get married. I didn’t understand the whole gay thing. I just knew he was a great guy.” “Wow,” Devyn said. “I didn’t know any of that. I am sorry about your dad. I’m glad Joe was there for you. Um, you didn’t stop doing stuff with Joe because of me did you?” Devyn was starting to draw a line between Joe and Danny’s dad. Devyn could not help but wonder if Danny’s dad had been the man in the barn Joe had told Devyn about. If it was, Devyn hoped that his moving in did not affect Joe and Danny’s relationship. “No,” Danny said. “I got a girlfriend and Joe has you to help him on the farm. I enjoyed working with Joe but I never wanted to be a farmer. I want to be like my dad.” Devyn was still not sure that his moving in did not have an impact on Joe and Danny’s relationship. He wanted to talk to Joe about that. He would be fine including Danny and it seemed Danny was fine with both Joe and Devyn being gay. Travis took an instant liking to Danny and Danny seemed to be good with Travis. Danny did not try to learn sign he just pantomimed what he wanted to get across to Travis. It was almost like watching someone playing charades. They got to the farm and Devyn got Travis going on his homework. He then went over exercises with Danny. After about an hour it seemed like the light was going on for Danny. “Julie was right. You are good at this stuff.” “I’m okay,” Devyn said modestly. “But you know Angela is the one with the perfect grade point average.” “Yeah,” Danny said. “She is too smart. Almost scary.” “Yeah,” Devyn agreed. “By the way I didn’t thank you for your help with Dale. So, thanks.” “No problem,” Danny said. “Can I ask you something about that?” “Sure.” Danny studied Devyn for a moment before speaking. “I don’t understand why you didn’t fight back. Is it like a fear thing, a gay thing or what?” “It really isn’t either of those. Not fighting back has nothing to do with being gay.” “And you aren’t afraid of them?” Devyn met Danny’s green eyes. “No, I’m not afraid of them.” “Then what is it? Except for that time in the hall with Ted, I’ve never seen you stand up to them. You looked like you could handle yourself well then, so I don’t understand. You need to just kick their asses. I don’t think you would have a problem with any of them one at a time.” “Anything I do will just get me into trouble.” “What?” Danny asked, confused. “Tanner hates me,” Devyn explained. “If I’m involved in a fight then he will blame it all on me. I will get detention or worse. Nothing will happen to them.” “Fuck that is wrong,” Danny said. They went back to work on more of the Algebra assignment. It went faster now that Danny was understanding the problems better. “Would you mind if we kept working together? I understand this stuff alright but I know he’s going to throw new shit at us. I need to keep up a good grade.” “Sure,” Devyn said. Danny continued to work through the assignment while Devyn started dinner. “So, you do the cooking?” Danny asked, watching Devyn in the kitchen. “I’ve been doing more of it,” Devyn said. “Joe has been really busy. Too much work and not enough sunny days.” “You know I do the cooking too,” Danny said. “My Mom is never home so I usually fix my own dinner.” “You are welcome to join us,” Devyn said. “There is always enough for 4 or 5.” “Thanks,” Danny said. They finished the homework and Devyn thought Danny had a real grasp of the problems now. He thought the guy would do well on the upcoming test. “That sounds like the tractor now,” Devyn said. Devyn signed to Travis that he could hear the tractor and to go wash up for dinner. “You really do treat him like a little brother,” Danny said. “He is,” Devyn said. “We might not share blood but in all the important ways he’s my little brother.” Danny could see the protectiveness flare in Devyn’s expressive eyes. It was almost like the gold flecks were glowing. “I kind of wished I had a little brother. Joe was like a big brother for so long it would have been nice to teach stuff to someone else.” “It is awesome. I never realized I wanted a little brother until I had one.” Devyn thought about Todd and how the boy had been older but mentally younger. He had done a lot to protect Todd from Tom. He would do even more to keep Travis safe. Danny turned towards the door when he heard it open. “Hey Joe!” “Hi Danny,” Joe said. “This is a surprise. It has been a while.” “Yeah,” Danny said. “Sorry about that. I got a girlfriend and um; she takes a lot of my time.” “No problem,” Joe said. “It happens to all of us. Relationships take time and work.” “Joe’s been seeing someone for a while too,” Devyn added for Danny’s benefit. “That’s great,” Danny said, meaning it. “I hope he’s a good guy.” “He is,” Joe said. “We were working on algebra,” Devyn explained. “I asked Danny to stay for dinner.” “That’s fine.” The talk during dinner was easy going but Devyn was noticing something with Joe. He was laughing and joking with Danny but there was something else there. Devyn was not sure what it was. After dinner and Danny had left, Devyn asked. “You and Danny’s dad were friends?” Devyn was suspecting that Danny’s dad was the Daniel that Joe had told him about. The pieces all fit. “Yeah,” Joe said. “He was a few years older than me but we were good friends.” “I didn’t know until Danny told me that his dad had been killed in combat,” Devyn said. “Yeah,” Joe said. “I need to give you more of the back stories on some of the people in town. Danny seems to have turned out to be a good kid.” “He’s a good guy,” Devyn said. “He says you were really there for him when his dad got killed.” “Everyone steps in when something like that happens,” Joe said, not looking at Devyn. “From what Danny says you went far beyond what anyone else did,” Devyn said. Joe looked at Devyn for a brief moment. Did he see tears in Joe’s eyes? “Um, sorry if this is upsetting you.” “It is hard losing a good friend,” Joe said. “Danny looks so much like him. The older he gets the more he looks like his dad.” “That must make it hard on you. I mean since you were in love with his dad. He is the guy from the barn, right?” Joe took a deep breath. “Yes, and you know that can’t go any further.” “It won’t.” Devyn meant it absolutely. “Is Danny a lot like him? “He looks more like him all the time. It was getting harder to be around him and not see more of Dan in him. I’m glad I was able to help him a little.” “He’s a good guy.” “He’s the right kind of kid for you to hang out with,” Joe said. “He has a plan and knows what he wants to do after high school.” “Are you trying to tell me something?” Devyn asked. “Nope,” Joe said. “Are you sure?” Devyn asked. “It sounds like you are saying I need a plan.” “Danny knows what he wants to do,” Joe said. “He wants to be a marine. He has the dedication and the motivation. It’s good. You have time to decide what you want to do. There is no hurry. You can even decide after you start college.” “So, I am going to college?” Devyn said, looking at Joe. “We talked about that,” Joe said. “You need to go to college.” “What if I just want to stay here with you?” Devyn asked. “You can stay here and still go to college,” Joe said. “What if I just want to farm with you?” Devyn said. “You can do that while going to college,” Joe said. “You are like a dog with a bone,” Devyn said. “College is important,” Joe said. “Farming is changing. You might need a degree in agriculture,” Joe pointed out. “There are lots of options. You are smart and can do anything you set your mind to.” “Thanks Joe,” Devyn said. “Maybe I will apply to the community college. I can take some classes while I figure it all out.” “Sounds like you got a plan now Boy Wonder,” Joe said, his lips quirked up in a half smile. Devyn still was not sure if his being there had caused a problem for Joe spending time with Danny. He thought it was best to tackle the issue right then. If Joe wanted to spend time with Danny, then Devyn would step back and let them resume their friendship. “Did I, um, have anything to do with you and Danny not spending time together the past year?” “No,” Joe said. “Danny was spending less and less time with me. He had school, sports and probably this girlfriend.” “I just don’t want you to give up a relationship with someone because of me.” Devyn knew that Joe taking him in had turned the man’s life upside down. It was rough in the beginning and Devyn never considered that being there might have caused Joe to give up friends. Was Devyn’s being there the reason more of Joe’s friends did not come around? “I did not give up anything,” Joe said and pulled Devyn’s eyes to his. “If I did give up a couple trivial things, I got a whole lot more.” “I just don’t want…” Devyn began but was stopped. “Knock it off,” Joe said. “I just saw something in your eyes during dinner,” Devyn said. “It looked like you were missing spending time with Danny. If I need to step back so you have…” “Devyn,” Joe cut him off again. “If you are thinking you are in the way, just stop it. This is your home.” bursa escort bayan “Thanks,” Devyn said. “It is just, you have been so good to me. I’m still not sure why. I was such a mess. Hell, I’m still a mess. I just don’t want to be the reason you aren’t spending time with Danny or whoever else.” “First,” Joe began and put his hand on Devyn’s shoulder giving it a warm squeeze. “You are not a mess. You were never a mess. You got caught up in a situation that was outside your control. You have not come between me or any friendships I had. In fact, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have Ethan. You are the best addition to my life.” Devyn was blinking back tears as he said through a knot in his throat “Thanks Joe. I… I love you so much.” “I love you too Boy Wonder,” he said, hugging Devyn tight. “It is fine if you want to try and include Danny in stuff we do,” Devyn said. “He’s a good guy and I like him.” “Honestly,” Joe began, “as Danny has gotten older, he looks more and more like his dad. It is probably best that we grew apart.” Devyn saw sorrow in Joe’s eyes. He placed a hand on Joe’s shoulder. “Um, you know if you want to talk, I am always here for you. I know how close you and Danny’s dad were.” “We were close. You know that from what I told you before. Since Dan was older, the three of us looked up to him.” “The three of you?” Devyn was even more curious now. “Me, Lee and Greg,” Joe explained. “Dan was like the cool older brother. “Did they know you and Dan were more?” “We weren’t at first,” Joe said. “He was just this older kid that came out here to do some work for us. You know, putting up hay and farming. The same kind of stuff you do now. Of course, back then we didn’t have as many fancy tractors as we do now. Everything took more manual labor.” Devyn knew it was all that manual labor that had given Joe the muscular body he had now. “You looked up to him then?” “I did. I was just a scrawny kid back then. I guess I idolized him some. He was attractive and I was drawn to him almost from the beginning. He did not mind at all that I tagged along on just about every job. He took the time to teach me and that was more than my old man would do. I was eleven that first summer he came out to work for us. Greg and Lee were out here a lot and he liked hanging out with the three of us. He did not mind that we were all younger than him. Heck, he liked being the boss of us, but he never made it feel like that.” “He sounds cool,” Devyn said. “He was,” Joe said. “He snuck us our first taste of beer and one time some of the home-made brew that Lee’s uncle makes. That shit is toxic.” “But you guys drink it anyway.” Devyn could see the emotions in Joe’s eyes. He could see just how much he had cared for Dan. “We did,” Joe was grinning at the memory. “It was the first real buzz I ever had. Greg blew chunks everywhere later that night. We were out there in the woods working on building that leinto.” “I wondered if you had help with that,” Devyn said. “You did an excellent job as it is still there.” “Once we got it done, we sat out there with a fire and drank some. I knew better than to drink too much but Lee and Greg did not. Lee was really out of it and Greg got sick and puked in the woods. I was so glad he didn’t do it by the fire.” Joe could remember it like it was just yesterday. He was so drawn to the older boy. He was watching every move and listening closely to every word. “I guess Dan was my first crush,” Joe told Devyn. “Was that the summer you started, um, messing around?” Devyn was so glad that Joe was sharing with him. It was a sign of how much Joe trusted him. “No, that first summer we didn’t do anything,” Joe said. “Oh, I checked him out when I got the chance. I was also checking out Lee and Greg. I think Dan was looking us over as well. I remember one time when the four of us went skinny dipping in the pond. He made some comment about my size so I know he was looking.” “A comment, like a good one or a bad one?” Devyn’s lips were curved up into a smile. “It looked bigger because I was still such a shrimp,” Joe said. “I’m sure,” Devyn said, knowing Joe was well endowed. He had never seen the man erect but just judging from the basket he had seen he knew it would be impressive. “When did you and Dan do more than just check each other out?” “I was thirteen,” Joe said. “He was older so he had a lot more experience than I did.” “Did he, um, push you into it?” Devyn could not help but wonder if the older boy had forced Joe into doing something that he had not wanted to do. “No,” Joe said. “I was figuring out then that I liked boys and not girls. I was not sure about Dan but I wanted to find out. I wanted to know if we were the same.” “You put the moves on him,” Devyn said, surprised. “Yes,” Joe said. “As much as a thirteen-year-old can that knows nothing about gay men or gay sex.” He was working for us that summer and most nights he was just crashing in the spare room,” Joe said. He was thinking back to those first times when everything had been new and so exciting. “I had been watching him and checking him out every chance I could. I think Dan was making sure I had plenty of chances to see him. He was never shy about letting me see.” “Sounds like you were a typical gay boy checking out the hot older boy.” “I guess that is true. Dan was looking just as much.” “Were you giving him lots of chances?” Devyn’s lips twitched as he imagined the two trying to look and show off their bodies without being obvious about it. It would have been fun to watch the two. Joe chuckled. “Yes, I guess I was. I felt a little better about letting him see after he made the comment about my size.” “So, when did it move from just looking?” “I was helping him and dad change a tire on the tractor. I went to pick up the tire but it was too heavy for me to carry. I was rolling it over and it got going too fast. It slipped out from my grasp and rolled away. It just kept rolling further and faster. The fucking thing rolled down the hill, bounced around and then went into the creek. Dan said I could not do that if I tried.” “Wow what bad luck.” “Dad started chewing me out. He called me a couple names. I was embarrassed since Dan, my idol, was standing right there. I took off running. I just wanted away from them.” Joe could remember the feelings as though it had happened yesterday. Joe darted down the hill and ran past the tire that was lying in a shallow part of the creak. He just wanted away from his dad and away from Dan. He ran into the trees that were along the creek. He was not sure where he was going but he knew he had to get away from his dad and Dan. He was sure they were both laughing at him. He ended up at the liento that they had built a couple summers ago. Ever since they had finished it, it had become Joe’s retreat. He would come here anytime he needed to get away from the pressures at home. He was watching as the sun slowly sank into the horizon. He knew he needed to go back to the house but he did not want to face Dan. He cared more about what Dan thought of him than what his dad did. It was as the sun dropped past the line of the horizon that he heard something coming through the woods. He knew it was not his father. His dad had never come to look for him before. He was sure he would not now. “I thought maybe this was where you went,” Dan said as he spotted Joe under the liento. Joe was silent as Dan approached. He did not look up at the older boy. He looked down at the dirt. Moving closer Dan sat down next to Joe. “I told your dad he was being a dick to you.” “You what?” Joe looked up to see if Dan was being honest with him. He had never heard anyone talk to his dad like that before. “It wasn’t fair what he said,” Dan said. “It was just a crazy accident.” “That shit always happens to me.” Joe looked back down still feeling humiliated at having been chewed out in front of his friend. “I’m a screw-up and a pussy.” “You aren’t either of those Joey.” Dan placed a comforting hand on the smaller boy’s shoulder. “One of these days you are going to be big enough to just pick up a tire and coordinated enough that shit like that won’t happen.” “You think so?” Joe looked up to meet Dan’s green eyes. Dan could see hope reflected in those electric blue eyes. “Definitely.” Dan could also see a bit of the worship Joe felt and Dan liked it. Joe was the most attractive of the group and Dan was sure in a couple more years the little guy was going to be able to kick any of their asses. “I’m not so sure,” Joe said and once again was looking down at the dirt floor of the liento. “Both Lee and Greg are bigger than me.” “You will catch up to them. You just haven’t gotten your growth spurt yet…well except for in the weaner department. You got them both beat there.” Dan’s lips twitched when Joe turned towards him and he could see the shocked look on Joe’s face. “Don’t look so surprised Joey. I told you a couple of summers ago you were big and when we went skinny dipping a couple weekends ago, I noticed it got bigger since then. You got both Greg and Lee beat there.” “You looked at me?” Joe asked. “Sure Joey, weren’t you looking at me?” Dan was watching Joe closely. “I, um, did,” Joe admitted. “Is that why you suggested going swimming? So, we would get naked?” “Um, sort of,” Joe admitted. “Did you also check out Lee and Greg?” Dan wondered if Joe would be honest. Dan had seen Joe taking glances at all three of them. Of course, Dan had also been looking. He bet that Lee and Greg had looked as well. Joe looked from Dan and then back at the ground. He wondered if Dan was going to tease him about looking at other boys now. He had never been able to stop being curious about boys and he never had that same desire to check out girls. “You know it is alright to look.” Dan wanted Joe to know that there was nothing wrong with being curious. “You think so?” Joe was looking hopefully at Dan. “All guys check each other out,” Dan said. “They do?” Joe wanted confirmation of what Dan was telling him. “They do. I was looking at you, Greg and Lee and I saw them looking too. Guys always like to know how they stack up to other guys and you stack up really well down there.” Joe could feel his face starting to turn red. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck and into his face. He was glad that in the dark that Dan would not be able to tell. “You stack up well too,” Joe said shyly. “Thanks Joey,” Dan said. “Um, Danny, do you mind that, I, um, looked at you?” Joe asked his voice just loud enough for Dan to hear. “No,” escort bursa Dan said. “In fact,” Dan leaned a little closer to Joe, “I like that you were looking.” “Me too,” Joe said. “I mean that you were looking and…” Joe felt his face burning again. He could not believe he was telling this to the older boy. “And what, Joey? “And that, um, you were looking at me.” Joe could feel his ears burn even hotter. He was so glad that the sun had set and Dan would not see the red of his face. “It’s cool Joey,” Dan said. “You are cool.” Joe felt a warm feeling in his belly at the words. He liked knowing that Dan thinks he is cool. “Danny, have you, um, looked at other boys? I mean besides us.” “Yes,” Dan answered honestly. “In the locker room at school and restrooms.” “Do you also check out girls?” Joe wondered if Dan was like him and found boys more interesting. “I get more chances to look at guys.” “Me too. Do you, um, like looking at boys more than, um, girls?” Joe could not believe he was asking the older boy this. “Yes,” Dan answered honestly. “Do you?” “Yes,” Joe answered. “I’m always worried that I’ll get caught though.” “You don’t have to worry about that with me,” Dan said. “We can look together then,” Joe said. “Definitely,” Dan agreed. They were silent for a while listening to the sounds of the night. Then Joe broke the silence. “Um Danny, you ever, um, kiss a boy?” “Once,” Dan answered. “How about you?” “No,” Joe said, “I’ve only thought about it.” Dan moved closer to Joe. He can just make out the boy’s features in the dark. He leans in closer and his lips find Joe’s. They kissed hesitantly at first and then with more intensity and passion. Joe’s arms slip around Dan and Dan’s arms pull Joe to him tighter. They kissed hard and deep. Their tongues and mouths, eager to be one with the other. Joe’s hands slide over Dan’s body. He can feel the heat of the boy through the t-shirt Dan is wearing. Joe can also feel Dan’s hand exploring him. “I do not know how long we kissed under that old rusty leinto but that was when our relationship started. Whenever I was upset and no one could find me, Dan would find me there. We would talk and sometimes do more.” “He sounds like a good guy to learn with.” “He was. He was considerate of my age. He never pressured me to do anything. Hell, he didn’t have to, I wanted to do anything and everything with him.” “Sounds like you two did do everything.” “We took it slow. I think that was more Dan’s idea than mine. I wanted to experience it all. We kissed and had our first jerk off sessions there. We moved on to blow jobs but over time.” “It sounds kind of romantic.” “I guess in a way it was,” Joe said. “We were sneaking around and that added to our excitement. That was part of the thrill.” “Sounds like a true relationship.” Devyn could almost picture the two sneaking off to meet up under that leinto. “It was as much as we could manage in a small town,” Joe said. “We learned to hide our true feelings. I never told anyone about Dan. I eventually told Lee that I was gay. I suspect Lee knows about Dan but he’s never said. Dan’s gone and that part of his life needs to stay in the past.” “No one will ever hear it from me,” Devyn said. “I trust you Boy Wonder,” Joe said. “That means a great deal, Batman,” Devyn said smiling. His heart swelling with the trust Joe had in him. “Dan and I tried to keep everything a secret but you already know we got caught,” Joe said. “I think a part of us wanted to get caught and have the hiding and the lying over. After we got caught that first time, Dan was determined to end things with me. He had already been dating and decided to ask her to marry him.” “That had to hurt,” Devyn said. “It did,” Joe admitted. “But I also understood. He was trying to fit into the life everyone thought he should have. We tried to stay away from each other so we would not be tempted and I started dating.” “Was that when you were dating Sam’s mom?” Devyn asked. “You know about that?” Joe’s eyes were looking into Devyn’s. “Yeah, Sam mentioned it,” Devyn said. “She was fun to be with and attractive but the chemistry just was not there.” Joe could remember trying to force himself to have feelings for her but it always felt hollow. “I had real feelings for Dan and could not force myself to have those feelings for her.” “I learned that with Sue and then again with Mindy,” Devyn said. “We are a bit alike, aren’t we?” Joe said, looking at the teenager. “It does seem so,” Devyn said. “Dan and I slipped back into our relationship,” Joe said. “We just were not strong enough to fight those feelings.” “That is how it was with me and Brent,” Devyn said. “We had that instant connection and then no matter how hard we tried to deny it we could not stop from wanting each other.” “Dan and I ended up sneaking around to have our stolen moments but it always made both of us feel like scum,” Joe said. “If we were not together, we hurt ourselves. When we were together, we were hurting someone else. It sucked. Dan had decided he could not do it any longer. He enlisted in the marines. He thought if he were gone then we could both move on. I was heartbroken but I also understood.” “It had to hurt,” Devyn said. “No wonder you wanted one last special moment with him.” “It was just stupid to do it in the barn,” Joe said. “But I wanted him to be my first. I wanted to know what it would be like with someone that would take their time and be gentle. You know, someone that cared.” “I do know,” Devyn said. “That was why I was willing to let Brent be my first.” “My dad never told anyone what he found us doing in the barn,” Joe said. “He would not want anyone to know what a pussy his kid was. It worked out for Dan. I took off and he went into the Marines. We both went our separate ways.” “You two never got together again?” Devyn asked. “We saw each other a couple times,” Joe said. “The feelings were still there. I’m sure we saw that in the other’s eyes. We might have ended up back in our old slipping around relationship but he got killed in combat.” Joe’s voice grew thick as he remembered hearing the news. “It had been a couple years since I had seen him. Danny was just a little kid and when Dan wasn’t going to be there too…” “You decided you owed it to him,” Devyn filled in the blank when Joe’s voice trailed off. “I did. It is what you do when you love someone,” Joe said. “Does Danny’s mom know about you and Dan?” Devyn asked. “I’m not sure, but I think she suspects. When I came back, I did not try and hide being gay. I had a boyfriend. I may not have pushed the boundaries but I also did not hide like before. I was done with that. Once Dad passed away, there was no reason to hide. Hannah knew who I was and was totally fine with it. Lee knew and nothing changed there. Most of the other friends were alright once they got used to the idea. There are just those few that cannot accept it.” “Probably the parents of the kids at school that sometimes give me a tough time,” Devyn said. “Probably,” Joe confirmed. “So, you came back with a boyfriend? You never told me that.” Joe smiled at Devyn. “I’ve had a few boyfriends since Dan and before Ethan. Patrick thought he wanted to live in a small town. He thought he would enjoy farming with me. He did in the beginning but the grind got to him. He realized it wasn’t for him and we went our separate ways.” “I’m glad you had Dan. He sounds like a super guy. I wish I had the chance to meet him.” “I wish you had that chance too.” Joe’s voice was thick. His feelings around Dan were still intense even after all these years. Joe pulled his emotions under control. It was good that he and Danny had grown apart. Danny looked too much like Dan now and Joe knew seeing him regularly would keep the hurt there. “By the way, did you ever try calling Matt with your new number?” Joe wanted to get the subject off him. “I did. I left it with that receptionist lady again. I sometimes wonder if she ever gives Matt the messages.” “I’ll call again too,” Joe said. “If we don’t get ahold of him, we will just go find him. You have that three-day weekend coming up. We can go then. “Let’s just do that, if it isn’t too much trouble.” “I’ll work it out with Lee to take care of things here. We can make it like a mini vacation. It might be good for all of us to get away for a couple days.” “It sounds like a plan. Thanks Joe. Um, I’d also like to see Brent. I’d like to talk to him.” “I think that would be good for both of you. What about your folks?” “Um, maybe, I don’t know.” “I think it would be good to see them. Maybe they have accepted…” “They haven’t accepted shit. They tossed me out and then, and then they didn’t put up any resistance to the adoption.” Devyn could feel the pain again. He could feel the tears burning. He would not cry. He would not give them another chance to hurt him. “I think this might be why it would be good for you to see them.” Joe’s voice was tender as he spoke. He moved to Devyn and placed a hand on the teenager’s shoulder. His thumb caressed the soft skin of Devyn’s neck. “I think you need closure with them.” Devyn looked down at the tabletop. “Maybe.” Joe moved his hand to the back of Devyn’s neck. He began to massage the tension he felt there. “Think about it. I’ll do whatever you want and I’ll be by your side for it.” Devyn looked up at Joe. His deep brown eyes were glistening with unshed tears. The golden specks glowing with the teenager’s emotions. “Thanks.” Leaning down, Joe kissed the top of Devyn’s head. “I’m always here for you. I think I’m going to go work on some paperwork before I turn in for the night.” Joe released Devyn’s neck and headed towards the doorway. Joe had only taken a few steps before Devyn pushed back from the table and jumped up. He moved quickly around the table and blocked Joe. “Thanks for sharing so much with me.” Devyn stepped closer putting his arms around Joe. Joe returned Devyn’s hug with one just as firm. “Thanks for listening. Never worry about coming between me and someone else.” Devyn looked up and into Joe’s eyes. “I love you, Joe.” Then impulsively, Devyn kissed Joe. His lips were briefly touching Joe’s. Joe touched the side of Devyn’s face. He could feel another emotion boiling inside of him. He sent a silent thanks to Hannah for bringing Devyn into his life. “I love you too.” Joe’s voice was thick. “Go, um, check on Travis while I do some paperwork.” “Sure.” Devyn could tell Joe needed to be alone for a bit. “I’m here whenever you need a shoulder.” “Thanks Boy Wonder.” Copyright 2022 by Keith yates att) all rights reserved. Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right. Thomas Paine

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