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Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 31

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*If you can’t look in a mirror and laugh at yourself, cut off the light*

(A special nod to BR for his help with all kinds of trivia and input in this chapter; a big thanks to Frontma for the editing )

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I’d like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

(I make a pledge: If I can’t slaughter every genre before the end of Book One, point it out and I give you homage when I catch that lucky bitch in Book Two)

[Only Yesterday]

“There must be a reason you are here,” Gabrielle Black questioned Rio. Rio spun around, expecting the classic chic vs. slasher boogeyman stance where ‘she’ was right behind her. Gabrielle was, in fact, four meters away, halfway in the doorway.

“Whoa, bi — give me a damn heart attack, why don’t you?” Rio gulped. Gabrielle gave no response. “Fine, Zane — wait! Is this room safe?”

“If you are asking if it is bugged or being monitored, then the answer is ‘no’,” Gabrielle stated. Rio was starting — yes, just starting — to get wigged out by the Head of Security’s icy calm.

“Fine, you freaky, scary-ass — if I call you a bitch will you hurt me?” Rio smirked.

“You have fifteen seconds before I decide whether or not to damage you in a permanent fashion, Ms. Talon,” Gabrielle warned Rio.

“Permanently damage somebody? What kind of egocentric wacko-douche says — Zane sent me to tell you that ‘There is no Cordelia Dresden’,” Rio blurted out, hating to lose the suspense but deciding that losing a finger would be worse. Gabrielle didn’t move.

“Well?” Rio asked nervously.

“I will put your arm behind your back in what appears to be a painful manner; I will walk you over to the Vice-Chancellor’s office; my hold on you will be relinquished; we will wait for Ms. Revel to send us into Dr. Scarlett’s office. You will admit to breaking into my house; I will inform her that you have agreed upon a punishment; she will agree, and we will leave; and then I will escort you back to your class,” Gabrielle stated. Rio was nodding, not in understanding but in suicidal thoughts.

The next thing Rio knew, Gabrielle stealth pounced on her while remaining in plain sight. She twisted Rio’s arm behind her back and turned her toward the door. Being the veteran of dozens of police chokeholds, beat downs, and other blatant abuses of authority, Rio was equally surprised how painless the hold was.

“What do I tell Zane?” Rio asked.

“Zane’s not expecting an answer,” Gabrielle related.

“How the fuck do you know that?” Rio sneered.

“The same way I know Zane told you in a public place with multiple conversations in all directions,” Gabrielle informed Rio. “It is what I would have done. Likewise, I know he chose you, that you’ve done horrible things that you have only told him about – because you would die for him and he would die for you. Of greater relevance, you would keep your mouth shut.”

“Tell me something,” Rio popped the question as they reached the door to the outside, “if you had a chance to seduce Zane and not get caught, would you?” Gabrielle ushered Rio outside, locked her door while keeping Rio constrained, then started across campus. She gave no answer. Rio kept her smarmy mouth in check for an incredible thirty seconds.

“So, Basalt Buns,” Rio snickered, “don’t your nipples get rubbed raw by that skin-tight clothing?” Gabrielle could have been deaf for all she reacted, but several of the young women soaking up the mid-Autumn sun and gentle breeze gulped and gasped.

“So, with all those does bending over and flashing their panties, do you ever get wet? And if so, where does all that cunt juice go?” Rio taunted…still nothing. Several girls sitting on the ground tucked their skirts in tighter.

“If I give you a trainer vibrator, would you promise to use it to deal with some of this pent-up aggression that makes you both homicidal yet dangerously alluring?” Rio tried next. At this point, some of the other girls surreptitiously raised their phones to capture what they thought might be Rio’s last moments.

“For the love of God, Tar Baby, say something,” Rio laughed.

“You think you speak to illicit a response when, in fact, you do so as a tool to sound people out,” Gabrielle said with that same seemingly emotionless voice. “You look for signs of courage, moral sensitivity, and temper control while broadcasting your fearlessness and experience in suffering pain.”

“Fuck-nuts,” Rio tried to grin over her shoulder at Gabrielle, “when you open up, you are a chatty little songbird. I think you and I are going to get along much better than I did with Gorman.”

“That is because Coach Gorman makes decisions based upon morality and responsibility while I base my actions on expediency,” Gabrielle said.

“Does this mean I get to see you naked now?” Rio smiled cheerfully. Gabrielle didn’t respond. “How about I show you mine and you show me yours?” she tried again, but Black was Teflon. “Okay, what would you Kıbrıs Escort do if I offered you a lesbian six-way? Don’t worry; me and four friends could ‘overpower’ you and take you back to the Love Shack. What do you say?”

“We are here,” Gabrielle responded, but really was indicating their arrival at the Administration Building. Rio decided to be quiet. Teasing Black among the girls was okay, but doing the same in front of Gabrielle’s peers seemed unfair to Rio…but she didn’t know why.

“Ms. Revel, I need one minute of Dr. Scarlett’s time, please,” Gabrielle requested in the same dead voice.

“What is the nature of this matter, Ms. Black,” Ms. Revel requested in a polite tone that made Rio want to slap that ‘oh so civilized’ mask off her face. Revel treated Rio and Zane like crap — okay, more her than Zane, but hell, the woman had a vagina and that made her Zane’s bitch, Rio believed, even if he refused to believe it. Scratch that, even girls with dicks weren’t immune.

Revel made a quick call and then Gabrielle and Rio crossed the threshold into Victoria Scarlett’s office.

“Hello,” Victoria looked up at the two. “How can I help?”

“Undo that top button,” Rio whispered, but was clearly understood. “I, ah — I broke into Ms. Black’s house. I was a bad girl,” Rio added in a louder voice.

“I apprehended Ms. Talon; we discussed the matter and agreed upon the proper punishment,” Black lied in a manner Rio prayed she could emulate one day…as well as pierce. “Ms. Talon has agreed to forgo a student appeal so she can put this matter behind us.”

“Understood,” Victoria nodded. “Oh, Rio, do you agree to this?”

Rio thought all of this was going a long fucking way to create a cover story on the off chance that Cordelia or some other dork in the Time Lord Mafia – Rio made a mental note to “Gibbs” slap Zane upside the back of his head for giving those geeks what she thought was a cool name – looked over some security feeds; then she noticed the two cameras covering the room.

Now Zane was going to get a nut-kick for being such a smart-ass, and the worst kind of smart-ass … the ones who were right.

“Yeah, sure,” Rio tried to reign in her rebelliousness.

“Very good; Ms. Black, please carry on,” Victoria returned to her work. Rio and Gabrielle had turned and taken two steps toward the door when they heard, “Rio, why did you break in?”

“Well, Bible Black here has this choice selection of thongs,” Rio replied without hesitation as she and Black turned back to face the Vice-Chancellor.

She’d once convinced an Arizona State Highway Patrolman that half a pound of weed was for medicinal use because she was dying of cancer. She’d even offered to let the patrolman pull off her punk-style wig which, thankfully, he elected not to do because it was, of course, her real hair.

“Why didn’t you approach Ms. Black during breakfast or at the end of Assembly to ask her what brand she uses and simply purchase them?” Victoria persisted.

“I plead poverty and a terminal lack of common sense,” Rio grinned.

“Wouldn’t Zane take care of that for you?” Victoria’s gaze penetrated Rio and pissed her off.

“When your stud lover is doing a double stick – that’s bending you over and pumping you in the vagina in one stroke and up the ass on the next until he spews his seed all over my back – asking him for money — well, wouldn’t that make me a whore?” Rio glowed with her perverse challenge. “Are you offering to be my pimp?”

“Rio, next time go to Zane first,” Victoria stated confidently. “It is his God-given duty to protect and provide for you. He is a good Christian man so put your trust in him.”

“Excuse me,” Rio made a gagging sound, “I think I’m going to throw up. That is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. Club me over the head like a baby seal, beat me, spank me, bludgeon me with your big titties, or smother me with that skanky twat — but please, please, shut the fuck up,” Rio snarled at Victoria.

“Go in God’s Love, Rio,” Victoria ignored Rio’s rant and went back to work. Gabrielle took Rio’s arm and led her out of both the office and the building.

“I do not understand what just happened in there,” Rio turned on Black but then realized she was staring at a human stone.

“Go to class,” Gabrielle directed her.

“Whatever,” Rio groaned. She was in mid-step when Gabrielle answered “Yes,” then departed rapidly. It took Rio a minute to figure out what Black was saying ‘yes’ to.


I’m kneeling close to the head of my bed while Paige is on my lap, my cock wedged into her vagina and her arms wrapped around my neck, her hands pressing my face and lips into hers. A combination of my hands cupping her ass and my thighs and hips surging upward are giving Paige a very rough, energetic ride.

Despite Paige’s liquid readiness, there is not much of a sloshing noise. Paige is so tight her vaginal walls act as a seal around my cock to stop her fluids from cascading out. Any Kıbrıs Escort Bayan friction my rod may be going through is more than compensated by the feeling of her nipples dragging up and down my chest.

“That’s it, love,” Paige whispered in my ear. “Remember this…remember me.” I brought my hands up while still humping her up with my hips. I reached her mid-back and pressed her into me, then gyrated her breasts around, grinding her pebble-hard nipples deeper into my chest.

“I’ll definitely remember the feel of this,” I said before kissing her once more. “But really, I don’t need to look farther than your eyes to know what I want to remember.”

“Ah — mmm,” Paige began to slide toward her orgasm. “Zane, I want this to be forever and I’m going to find a way. I can’t — oh…I love you…Zane!” The low rumbling deep within her body increased in vibrancy as Paige reached her climax. I could feel that sonic energy passing from her to me.

In her game plan was the belief that a combination of good sex and companionship for two years without Christina would lead to us being ‘the couple’. I tried not to encourage her but I also valued her counsel and her friendship. I remained in a sitting position to keep Paige breathtakingly close. My still hard cock rested deeply inside Paige’s cunt until it finally calmed down and we began gathering for the showers.

“Bro, can I have a minute?” Rio called out.

“Sure,” I said. After the last of my other bed buddies left, I reached out and yanked Rio toward me.

“Hey, now…as bizarre as it is for me to say this – I want to talk,” Rio laughed. I waited.

“Zane, this is beyond insane; you realize that right?” Rio began.

“Sadly, my life is so unhinged I’m going to have to ask you to clarify what you mean,” I sighed.

“The number of girls in this bed,” Rio sat up and huffed. “These have hardly been my first three-ways but these are the first ones I orchestrated…controlled. Before coming here, I was renowned for my free-ways, by the way.”

“Three-ways,” I corrected Rio.

“No,” she chuckled bitterly, “by the time my old crowd was done with me, I had been used like a free-way.”

“And Mercy?” I questioned.

“I’ll get back to her but let me make my first point; you get all these different girls to come to your bed,” she smiled, “and they spend most of their time talking to each other…with the occasional awesome sex,” she tossed me a bone.

“Those are called relationships,” I teased Rio. “Technically, if you seek out a person on more than one occasion, you have a relationship. Several of the ladies with us tonight have been with you several times, indicating they want a relationship with you.”

“None of that shit would be happening without you,” Rio countered.

“I don’t deny it; I have opened the door but I haven’t thrown anyone at you either,” I grinned. “Face it, when you let down your guard and don’t act too crazy, people like you, Rio. As a girl, you are a pain; as a friend, you are wonderful. Case in point – Valarie didn’t beat you black and blue.”

“Dude, you called her off of me,” Rio pointed out.

“Do you seriously think that someone with Valarie’s developed survival instincts wouldn’t have cut you lose unless she thought you had something worthwhile?” I countered. Rio had to think that one over. I figured I had won when she changed the subject.

“I need some money,” Rio mumbled.

“How much? It may take me a few days to finagle it from my Trust if it is a lot,” I answered.

“I love you,” Rio said after a moment. “You are a nut. You are not even asking me what it is for.”

“Rio, I’d kill for you; I’d break you out of prison if I had to. Compared to that, I think I can soak up a financial hit,” I promised. “You will always be worth it to me.”

“Oh” — another long pause.

“We both need a shower, Bro,” I prodded.

“I want to get — well, I’m thinking about –” she took a deep breath, “– looking for a ring.”

“For Mercy?” I sat up, startled. “Rio, are you sure? I mean, you haven’t known her a month yet. Don’t you think you are moving a little fast?”

“I’ve been crazy horny, crazy in love, and plain crazy about her, Zane,” Rio moaned.

The very fact that Rio hadn’t bitten my head off for giving her grief told me how bad this thing was.

“Honestly,” she looked into my eyes, pleading that her explanation would bring understanding to us both, “it was Vivian who got Mercy and I to talk about normal, non-sex, stuff.”

“I showed her some of my piercings, she showed me stuff about her high school, her old friends, movies she liked. If I hear the name Mandy Moore one more Goddamn time, I’ll ram my pinkies through my eardrums,” she swore, “and she listened to some of my music and didn’t freak out.”

“Love doesn’t make a marriage; liking your partner does,” I chuckled. “Mom told me so.”

“Wait, you aren’t trying to talk me out of this?” Rio realized.

“Nope. She loves you and I think she has come to Escort Kıbrıs accept that you are going to emotionally hurt her from time to time,” I nodded, “and if you can wrap your mind around holding up your side of a commitment, then I’m there for you.”

“Oh, you bitch!” Rio punched me. “Put all the responsibility on me.”

“Duh,” I joked. “Nose ring, ring finger, or collar and leash – Mercy would never ask you for any of those so if she ends up with one or all of those, it will be by your will alone.”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Rio perked up. “It is the right thing to do but I’m falling in lust with the idea of that nose ring…though her leash is already on the way.”

“Leash: planning on a little bedtime rodeo?” I prayed.

“No. I’m going to make use of it on the entire floor, plus whenever we go to town,” Rio giggled.

“R-E-S-T-R-A-I-N-T,” I spelled out the word. “I’m going to find a dictionary and have you memorize the meaning, Knucklehead.”

“What are you talking about?” Rio batted her lashes at me sarcastically. “I’m all for restraints.”

“Come on,” I shook my head and scooted toward the edge of the bed, Rio right behind me. “At some point Mercy is going to have to go back to her hometown and her family. She’s going to be alone, and if any of this alternative crap comes up, I doubt anyone close by is going to be understanding.”

“I don’t want to give her back to those assholes, Zane,” Rio grumbled. I handed her a towel before we headed out.

“She’s not a toy or a pet,” I said. “You can’t take her family away from her. She’s going to have to decide how she is going to deal with them. One day I hope she’s honest with them about her choices and about you. Then it is on them whether they remember she’s still the woman they loved for twenty years. Rio, it is her decision to make and you have to trust her to be strong enough to do what is right for her.” I took in Rio with my stare. “It would be a mistake to do it now, but when you two are stronger and she’s much, much closer to graduation, she needs to make her peace with her parents.”

“Fuck that,” growled Rio. “I want her to choose to stay with me forever. Failing that, I want to know if I can keep her tied up in your room for the next three years.”

“You have got to let her parents cut those ties; if they can’t deal,” I reminded Rio, “then it isn’t your weight to bear anymore and Mercy won’t hold it against you. That is the same reason you will go home when you are ready; when you can make your parents own up to what they did. Until you deal with that, you won’t totally trust Mercy, me, or anyone.”

“You are a real cocksucker; I would have loved your Mother and I wish she had been my mom instead so I could have been a college queen bee like Christina with a smoking car and a steamier boyfriend,” Rio’s eyes danced with mischief and understanding. “You are such a fucking deviant; I don’t know how you sleep at night. You convinced me that I need to slow down a bit with my annoying bang-bunny until I deal with some of my luggage/baggage/mind-fucking myself … and you tried to trick me into thinking it was my idea. I love you,” she hugged me.

“I sleep on my back with one eye open because it’s not in your nature to miss a chance to pay me back, for good or ill, and that could make sitting down rather painful,” I winked.

“Ya big baby,” Rio laughed. “I’ll get Hope to lay you out for me – then playtime!”

“Rio, do you have any idea of the recovery time you’d go through, healing up from the beat-down Hope would inflict?” I teased.

“I love nurses,” Rio snickered. “Tell them you have belly itch, then you trick them to go lower and lower.”

“Why don’t you do it yourself?” I wondered.

“Bro, every time I’ve been in a hospital, my wrists have been strapped down. I wouldn’t know any other way – it would be unnatural,” Rio poked me. “Stick me back in; I’ll be fine.”

“Try asking for something I believe you want, ya nut,” I shoved her playfully. “You are the least likely person I know to submit to bondage. If it is any consolation, you are the person I am most likely to believe would put another in a hospital.”

“Oh, Motherfucker,” Rio grimaced, “Belle is going to ‘start my training’ this Saturday. Hospitalization is a real possibility.”

At this moment, we passed into the fifth-floor showers and met my bevy of female companions. Mercy waited patiently for her lover, standing straighter and thrusting out her chest when Rio came into view.

“Are you waiting for me to wash your back?” Rio greeted Mercy rather congenially. Mercy thought about the game Rio was playing then nodded.

“How clever of you,” Rio congratulated Mercy. “Let’s get in a stall and I’ll be Airport Security Guard and you get to be Cartel Drug Mule; that sounds like Body Cavity Search Time to me.” Mercy gleefully scampered to stay by Rio’s side. ‘No Rio’, I thought, ‘this is going to be a colossally important thing; you and her, and how Mercy deals with what comes next.’ Rio had the subtlety of a hurricane, the speed of a tornado, and the capacity for devastation to match them both.

“Hey, Slugger,” Opal pulled me into her shower spray. “You seem positively conscious this morning. Did they kick you under your bed and forget where they placed you when Fun Time began?”

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