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Even as he thrust deep into me, filling me with his welcome warm seed, I thought about how much he’d changed my world. I’d been his for a month and I’m not sure I could now recognize the lonely lost girl sitting in a bar full of couples: the wallflower. He seemed to come out of nowhere, sucking me deep into the rabbit hole that’s his world. Lying under him now, smelling the scent of our sex, I know it’s my world, too. I could never go back, never return to my life before him.°°°°°°°°°°I’d always known I was different. Every relationship, every one night stand, every sexual interlude in my adult life, had left me feeling empty. Sometimes, I was more lonely in a relationship than when I was actually alone. Sure, the pleasantries were nice enough. I managed to enjoy dates, sex, even the obligatory pronouncements of “I love you”. Yet I always felt that there should be more, something to lift me above the mundane.A castoff, a shadow, alone: that was the usual perception of myself.Tonight was like any other Saturday night. I was going to my favorite upscale bar; a secluded bar tucked into the back corner of a restaurant where I couldn’t actually afford to eat. As always, I’d be trying to fill a void. I was on a mission, craving the embrace of a man even if, mentally, it left me feeling even more lonely. Physically, maybe, it would fill some unspoken basic need, the void permeating my life and soul.I went straight to my favorite spot at the bar and ordered a margarita, needing the liquid courage to survive another night of people watching and wondering what I was really seeking. The bartender, quite attractive, placed a glass in front of me, making sure his hand brushed mine. Yes, I could have him, but it would be too easy, much like winning for the sake of winning. It would be just another empty victory in a string of failed attempts to feel whole.Frustrated, I knew my lackluster experiences were not what romantic novels or erotic literature meant by passion. I wanted more. Hell, I ached for more. Lost once more in melancholy, I didn’t see him approach. No matter, I didn’t have to see Güngören escort bayan him. The air around him was vibrant with electricity and the hair on the nape of my neck rose. It was as if a voyeur was infringing on my personal space, watching and waiting. Oh yes, I was aware of his presence all right.After standing behind me for a moment, he spoke. “Turn around,” he said. “Don’t say anything, just turn around so that I can see you.”He must be insane, I thought. Hmm… then again, maybe I should do just that, turn around — and then walk away, leaving him standing there.But no, I didn’t. Instead, I obeyed, slowly turning around. He said nothing, simply watched. Heat colored my cheeks as he stared at me.A grin softened his expression while he gazed at the little black dress hugging my curves. I was significantly shorter than him, even wearing my favorite stilettoes. Having been rushed for time, my hair was swept into a messy bun and a few curly tendrils hung free. I’d opted for light makeup accentuated by a seductive ruby red lipstick.After looking me over from head to toe, he produced the most exquisite smile I’d ever seen. It seemed he approved. He reached for a hand and, without exchanging a single word, I took his in mine. It seemed different from any hand I’d held and I shivered as we touched. My small hand was lost in his and I enjoyed the thrill of my physical reaction.He led me through the bar to a table at the back of the restaurant. The music was muffled there but the rhythm was alluring and we would be able to hear each other speak. He looked into my eyes and said only one word, “Sit.” Instinctively, I did as commanded, and sat facing him.After another moment of silence, he spoke again. “My name is Bryant. For months I have watched you here.” Holding my hand, he continued in a matter-of-fact manner, “You’ve been in the company of so many men and yet you always seem uninterested. I see a beautiful creature, who has not found her way to be what she was meant to be.””Found my way, where?” I was equally intrigued and confused.”You Escort İnnovia have not found your path to becoming what you were meant to be,” he said. “Maybe I am the one, or maybe I’m not, but I could be your answer.”I was confused but wanted to understand his words. Mostly I was interested in what he saw in me. Desperate to quit searching for answers, I was entertaining the possibility that, for some reason, he actually might know them. My head began to swim with so many maybes, so many questions. He seemed sure of himself, yet without overbearing tones. Was he looking for a cheap thrill? Or was it more?”I understood what you were meant to be from the first moment I saw you. I watched to see if you knew it also.”“Then, by all means, indulge me,” I said. “Tell me what I am, where I belong, since you claim to have all the answers.”Truthfully, I thought it impossible that a stranger could understand what my heart had spent a lifetime trying to figure out; a lifetime of searching with little success.Yet, we talked until we were the last remaining customers. He spoke for hours about the lifestyle that he lived. A lifestyle based on dominance and submission. He spoke clearly, elegantly, and slowly as he gently held my hand. He allowed me enough time to process the information and to develop questions.”Although often misunderstood,” he said, “it is the most loving, nurturing, intimate form of human contact and play. A lifestyle where relationships are based on trust between a Dominant and his submissive. Trust forged by love and by submission. The Dominant is as much a slave of the sub as vice versa. Without her, he has no existence.”Once I started asking questions, they poured out. It was like my soul opened up and twenty-five years of doubts and insecurities all came out in the form of questions. A few times I blushed at the speed with which I put my queries but he clearly recognized my insecurity. In those exact moments, he’d place his hand again on mine, letting me know that it was okay, reassuring me that I was safe. His touch also sent vibes Kağıthane escort of arousal through my body. My pussy became very wet.I’d wasted so much time dissecting my disappointment at mainstream sex, being hurt by the disappointment in a lover’s eyes, and silently crying alone in my car. I wore my loneliness like body armor. As he explained domination and submission, I felt the armor melt. He warned I had much to learn. One of the hardest things, he said, was to be strong enough to submit unconditionally, to be consensually bound to a Master.He said submitting was to give of one’s self. The Master had to know there was nothing in the world his submissive would not do for his happiness, that she would be loyal and honest at all times. For a Master, nothing in the world mattered other than looking into his submissive’s eyes and knowing she felt loved, safe and fulfilled. He explained that a Master must know that every need is met, every doubt erased. Nothing was more important than communication and trust between the two.No decisions or plans were made that night. We simply enjoyed the conversation — and the undeniable growing sexual tension. When the restaurant bar closed, he held out his hand. Again I accepted without hesitation. And he booked a room in the hotel next to the restaurant.Have I lost my mind? We’d only just met and I didn’t know anything about him. However, one thing I knew for sure: there was nowhere on Earth I would rather be at that very moment…Room service delivered my favorite top shelf tequila. He really had been watching and studying. He poured two drinks and led me to the sofa by the fireplace. I tried to appear nonchalant, but I finished my drink too quickly. He took my glass, looking deep into my eyes. My body responded as our hands touched.“Please, undress. I want to see you. Make sure you do it slowly. I want to enjoy every nuance, every movement, and every last curve.”Without hesitation, I did as he asked. Standing naked before him, I had never felt more womanly. His eyes drank in my naked body, highlighted by the flickering flames in the fireplace. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt beautiful. I felt desired. Most of all, I somehow felt safe.He reached forward and ran his hands down my body. He released my hair from my bun and hungrily kissed my neck. Kissing is not an adequate description; his mouth made love to my neck.
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